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My girlfriend appeared on an adult video site age 19... and I can't get over it!

Tagged as: Pornography, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2007)
A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:

So my girlfriend confessed to me that when she was 19 she appeared on an adult website to earn some extra cash for school. She is 24 now and realizes it was the worst thing she could ever do and regrets the whole thing. We want to get married but I am consumed at the thought of her doing this. I have seen the video, as it is still posted on the site, and it's all I can think of. I cannot talk to friends of family and really don't know where to turn or what to do.

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A male reader, I Waited For The One United Kingdom +, writes (5 January 2007):

I Waited For The One agony auntlook at it like this

what happened in the past happaned what u doing 2 do? build a time machine and stop her from doing it?

u sould look at this in a good way think about it all them guys had 2 pay and watch her do thing's u get 2 fuck her for real and them other lil nerd (i'm problaly 1 of them) will only dream about being in your shoes right now

dont be mad at her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):

I think you are perfectly entitled to judge her actions and character based on this. But no more on that- you have seen the video and we haven't.

If you want to go forward with the relationship then the thing to do is to obtain all rights to the video and remove it from the web. Contact an entertainment attorney and have him start negoiations with the web site owner. Most of these guys are getting sub-pennies a hit so I think they would likely be open to you buying all rights. As long as dont have an expectation that your gf has become a celebrity, this tape aint getting anymore valuable.

If it costs you $10K to buy all rights to photos and videos taken on that day to secure your future, it sounds like a small price. Take it out of the engagement ring budget and get her a CZ instead.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):

We have all done things in the past, some of them we have regretted. Don't torture her forever on this. She could of decided not to tell you! Let the past stay where it belongs, in the past. Has your past been so rosy? Put it out of your mind and enjoy all you have now and stop looking at that site!!!!

Take care

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):

We have all done things in the past, some of them we have regretted. Don't torture her forever on this. She could of decided not to tell you! Let the past stay where it belongs, in the past. Has your past been so rosy? Put it out of your mind and enjoy all you have now and stop looking at that site!!!!

Take care

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):

How does this compare to your own sexual experiences?

Have you had a number of sexual experiences? have you ever done things, such as use videos, cameras? I wonder if you are more bothered by this because she has done something so explicit with someone else but not with you.

Yeah it sounds quite shocking she has done this, but plenty of girls have a sexual past and whilst they may not have done what your girlfriend has done, they may have done similar private things with their boyfriends. I think if you had done something like this with a girl this Internet thing wouldn't hurt you so much.

Perhaps watching the video wasn't the best of ideas(!!) but at least now you have two very clear options.

You break up with her because you think she has done something so bad that you will never get over it or stop thinking about it or, you accept it is in the past and she will never do anything like that again.

Also in encouragement of your relationship, at least she made this mistake already. People generally do have to make a mistake before they learn a lesson. Hypothetically speaking, she may have never have done this, but later in life been in a situation where she was propositioned to do the same thing; but being nieve she went through with it.

I think you know for sure now that she would never do anything like that again and she is probably disgusted with her past and just wants someone to love her for who she is... are you willing to do that?

All the best.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):

Well dude...you have a nice girlfriend...she told you the truth as much as it pains her to but if she told you then it means that she trust that you love her. Talk to her about this but don't ask if she will ever do this again kus it might just make her think you don't trust her...just let her know you trust and love her and you need to be there for her....show her that you love her and that you won't care about her past as long as she love you

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A female reader, jade77830 +, writes (5 January 2007):

jade77830 agony auntsweety you should just get over it its in the past. you should also talk to her more and get to understand why she did it more. DON'T JUDGE HER FOR HER PAST!

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