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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have always been a "worry-wart" and very cautious person- I'm introverted and am a homebody. My friends on the other hand are all outgoing, extroverts who like to socialize with everyone and party. Two of my friends have said that I was "boring." Now I know we just may be growing apart and don't have the same interests, but I'm not Debbie Downer either!! I don't like to hang out at bars like they do because it's too loud/crazy and I don't drink. It's confusing because people say to "be yourself" or "don't change yourself for anyone" but then people say that you're not good enough or you're boring, so I don't know what to do anymore. I have been going through some tough times recently (family issues, etc.) so I am probably not the most fun person to be around, but I do not burden them with my problems either. (Around them I'm pleasant and easy-going.) How should I deal with their comments? Should I "loosen up" ? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 maybe you shouls see a shrink i mean a profesional brain anylyzer pyschotrsy im having trouble with big words today any way maybe your bipolar. i kinda get where your coming from thoug i hate the term just be your self cuse some people are jerks some people could benefit from changing themselves to a better person i think as people where constantly changing and adapting for awhile at a certain age you become stuck in your ways like some old people hell would freeze before you can convince them to buy a bluray player. maybe you should try hanging out with your friends at the bar throw back a few shots take one for the team dont see how you can be friends with people who are completely different from you. well my opinion is you should take a chance on somthing new u could start bt getting an acount here and help others out
A
female
reader, lilacpilgrim  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Wow, I know this problem. I've had this issue, too. "You'll get a date! You're wonderful! Just be yourself!" and then suddenly "You can be so boring. Loosen up!"I don't think there is any other way you can be with potential partners, though. Whether or not you are 'boring' (which is all down to personal preference - one guy might find you about as exciting as grey paint and the other might think you're the most exciting thing since insert preferred exciting moment here) you must be yourself when around potential partners. You can't go around pretending to be someone you're not - you'll most likely be uncomfortable all the time, and if you manage to pull off a different persona and find a partner, they will eventually find out what you're really like and their opinion of you could change drastically.What I'm saying in short is you should show these guys what you're really like, but ignore your friends' 'boring' comments. When you have friends with drastically differing interests, of course they're going to say that, but not all guys are like your friends. There are people out there with similar interests to you, and they won't think you're boring at all.
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