A
female
age
41-50,
*iyarp
writes:i have a friend who i dearly love as my sister, shes having so much problems in her relationship that i dont know where to begin.. but says she's curious thats hes cheating on her,explains that her partner always comes home from work stays for only half an hour and leaves the house to go training .. now training starts from 6pm to 8pm and only leaves like 20mins away but he doesnt get home till about 10.30pm always tuesday and thursday night.. i feel for her.. she has no idea what to do.. i fort il give her mi 5cent piece but i dont know wether she'l do it!!.. my advise to her was to investigate him by spying on him when goes to training.. he wont talk to her .. he treats her like s___.. they just had a newborn hes only 3months and he only spends 30mins an hour with his son.. which is sad.. she even mentioned that hes told her straight that de only reason why hes with her is because he's there for his son other than that my girlfriend gets treated like s___!! someone help us here she doesnt want to leave him because she loves him and she cant let go.. i've tried to advise her and all but i dont knoe what else to say to her.. please give me some advise so i can advise her .. thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 Keep reminding her how important she is, and how she deserves better, and could find better. It seems as if we have hookers who get treated with more respect than she's being treated.
What else in certain situations does get the person thinking. The mental health of their child. Does she realize, all though their son is young, he's still using his eyes, ears, and nose and touch for learning. Children who grow up in a family where the parents are disconnected from eachother learn that's the way to have a relationship. They have difficulty being intimate, romantic, and having a real satisfying relationship when they grow up, all because they visualized and their environment taught them how relationships work.
I'm a single parent. I would much rather raise my children alone, and know they are happy, than I would in a realtionship that causes confusion and tension.
A
female
reader, clobear  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 hii darlin, well seems you got a problem there, all you can do is tell her to talk to him, if he doesnt realise what hes doing maybe someone should tell him and if he doesnt care then she shouldn't be with him. if you've tried to help her and she doesnt want your help then you will just have to stand back and let her carry on, then when it does end, which i assure you it will, just be there for her. one day she will have taken so much she will get to a point where she just flips, my mum did the same thing and now shes moved on. just because they have a kid together that is no reason to stay in an abusive relationship, the child can still be happy with parents seperated. plus its not good for the baby to see whats going on. at the end of the day what she needs to do is leave him, eventually she will realise that its for the best because she doesnt deserve to be treated like that.
hope this helps you hun, xxxx
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (12 April 2008):
 Hmmmm. Tough one, especially with the young baby involved. But what does she love about him? He's not there for her, doesn't give her any time, not interested in her - probably because he knows she's just sitting there with baited breath waiting on his every whim. Right, what she should do is get herself together, put on some make up and tart herself up a little, so he starts to wonder whats going on, and then get herself out there - anywhere - the park, the mall, anywhere so she's not just sitting waiting for him, don't be so available. Men love it when you're not. If he takes no interest in her after that - well why bother? She did her best, she's gonna get nowhere fast with him and theres someone better waiting for her. As for the ababy? He's top priority, look after him at all times, and the better the people he's around are the better he'll be mentally when he grows up, thats the main thing. Lotsaluv.
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