A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24 and happily married. My wife and some of my friends before her do not get along. She's willing to work anything out, but those friends hate her and never want me to bring her. I used to have a big issue with confrontation and honesty. I'd sound like i was on the side of anyone i was around. These days I'm more honest with myself, and these days I also am better at expressing myself uncensored without offending anyone. I'm a person that isn't very sexist, racist or hateful, and I really don't care who I'm with when hanging out. My wife really doesn't either, she's outspoken, but she wants to hang out with as many people as i do and I long for a social group of social people. Is it bad i don't really feel wrong about cutting each one of my pre-married out of the picture? Most of the friends have been because of things they've done to me, but i have this one friend who my only problem with him is his hatred of my wife. I understand if things don't work out with her that I'm left alone, but we've gone through so much and end each fight with us realizing our dependency on each other. For the sake of my happiness and our happiness as a couple, I don't like going with the friend alone because of his hatred of her. Most of my other friends that have stuck around don't really care about guys night out, it's more about the party and the more the better. I'm not a sports guy, not an act-different-around-girls-or-guys guy so I don't really yearn for a guys night out, i'm sure if i had one with friends that have accepted her i wouldn't care. Is it just time to grow up, find a new group of welcoming loving people that are more like who i am now and just get rid of the people that still miss who i was in High School? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): well why does your mate hate her so much?and if he was a real friend he`d atleast be civil out of respect for you and be there if anything does go wrong between you and the wife, its called a shoulder to cry on
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 September 2007):
 Unless the reasons they do not like your wife is due to things like she is a drug addict, or perhaps she will financially ruin you, then it is jealousy. Maybe your male friends are gay and secretly in love with you, or maybe they are just jealous. Unless they have a legit reason for not liking her then I follow the rule of:
The mother of my children is more important than my friends.
I say this despite the fact I am a "seducer", and it has shocked some male friends and clients/students that I dropped who acted like assholes to her.
-Frank B Kermit
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