A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. Two of my best friends despise him but I really am fond of him, he has been not wanting to come over if they are there because they are really not very nice to him, I've tried talking to them but they don't listen, I don't know what to do now, any help would be great, thankyou xxx
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male
reader, DragonMan +, writes (27 January 2014):
 Greetings,
There is two main types of friends in the world,
Those that need you to support them and those that want to support you.
The question is to determine which of these your friends are.
Ask them the reason for their dislike ad then attempt to discover if their accusations are truth.
If they are then go from there if it is vile rumour then step away but your need to figure out who your true friends are before you choose a side
A
female
reader, Thickchick100  +, writes (27 January 2014):
Honestly Friends just want the best for you!! You should ask them why they don't like him and maybe you will find out something about him tht you never knew just LISTEN to what they have to say and then tell them how you feel or just sit ALL of them bf included and have a talk
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2014): Chigirl, her friends are still very young. If they're upset that she's spending too much time with her boyfriend or don't like her boyfriend for whatever reason, people their age will usually channel their dislike in an immature way. Also, the OP never specified exactly how her friends treat him. It's not about being a bad friend (unless they're jealous of their friend and are trying to get the two to breakup). It's about being able to mature your feelings and communicate them appropriately.
OP, like everyone else said, find out why your friends don't like your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 January 2014):
 Tell your friends that they don't get to dictate who you date. It's one thing if they didn't like him, but kept it to themselves. But bullying is very, very low. You need to be a big girl now and tell them they can't continue to bully him, and if they do then you don't have much choice but to stop hanging out with them. Who wants to be friends with bullies anyway?
Your boyfriend is doing the right thing to stay away from these "friends" of yours. I recommend you stay away as well. Friends are worth more than boyfriends, but these girls do not sound like friends at all to me. They just sound jealous of you, and they take it out on him by being mean. That's not nice at all, and I don't see how they can call themselves your friends if that is how they behave. They don't seem to care much about you at all..!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2014): This is hard. Here's what I feel like usually happens:You tell your friends that you respect their opinion, but keep dating him/hanging out with him anyway, because you like him. If you keep that up, you fall in LOVE with him, and then there's no way you'll listen to anything anyone has to say. Plus, he probably won't like your friends too much, because he knows they don't like him. You'll feel like you have to choose, and you'll choose him.After a bit of time, the love feelings wear off a bit, and you start to realize that maybe your friends were right.After a bit more time, you break up with him because you don't really think he's right for you. But now, you don't have close friends anymore, because you were always ditching them to hang out with your BF.At that point, you can apologize to your old friends, say you were an idiot and you're sorry for not being there for them. They'll probably accept your apology, because everyone's been there.If they don't, you'll have to make new friends.That's how I foresee this all playing out…let me know how it goes!! Good luck :)And yes, try to listen to your friends at least a little, and try to create some friend time without your guy always being there.
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A
female
reader, Questing for Love +, writes (26 January 2014):
 I will admit, I had a friend in high school who met a guy online and they started dating. However they had not met in person yet, and the guy got drunk at a party and slept with someone and got her pregnant, BUT he told our friend the truth of what happened instead of hiding it from her. They continued to date even though a few of us did not approve of him, but I eventually came around and so did the others (aside from one) but if you're happy with him you can't let your friends dictate what you do. But as Cerberus said, they might not like him because of a specific reason. Find out that reason and then make your decision of whether or not your friends have a good reason. If not tell them that he makes you happy and if they don't want you to be happy then you don't want them as friends.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2014): One more thing to consider....
A little while back a young lady posted on this site a similar problem where he friends couldn't abide her boyfriend...
It transpired that every time she and her boyfriend had any kind of disagreement she was on the phone to her friends crying about it and discussing it at great length. As a result her friends formed a rather negative view of her boyfriend because all they ever heard about him was that he was an unreasonable asshole.
Not saying that this is what you're doing but it's worth mentioning.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2014): Ask them why they don't like him (without your boyfriend there, of course). And be prepared to actually listen to what they have to say - don't leap to your boyfriends defence or blow-up if they say something you don't agree with, they're entitled to their opinions of somebody. Just listenIf they avoid discussing it or deny it or just get plain shirty about it, it's probably a case of jealousyThey could jealous that you have a boyfriend or they could be jealous that this new boyfriend is suddenly taking up all your time. If it's the latter, then maybe you should really make an effort to make "just girls" time with your mates (time spent together in school or college doesn't count). As the other Aunts have pointed out, you can't make people like each other or get along and you just have to work around it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2014): You don't say why they despise him OP, without that info there's not much we can tell you. It's never a good sign when friends who love you despise your partner, they may have good reason and they may see something in him you're ignoring.
The fact there's two of them that hate him tells me they probably have good reason not to like him.
You can't make people like other people you can only juggle them. Just keep them separate, if I were you I'd find out why and examine whether they have a point.
Friends are by far the best judge of character when it comes to partners, if they don't like him then you should be cautious with the guy as he's probably trouble.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2014): Split your time between your friends and your boyfriend. Don't let them dominate all your time, if they don't like your boyfriend.
Find out why they don't like him; maybe there's a reason.
In most cases it because they're jealous and feel he's taking up most of your time. Sometimes there may be things about him that are really not likeable, and you're ignoring it. They don't really have to like him. It might be nice if they could; but you can't force people to like who you like.
Just keep them separated, and things will be fine.
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