A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey there!! i live in an hostel away frm home... in college... i hav a lot of friends and they are very nice... bt the prblm is that they are all committed and so they tend to ignore me. im single btw. im not saying that i too want a bf but when all around you are busy with their partners... it feels really bad... it causes me depression and i tend to b really frustrated... plz suggest what should i do?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): You're far from home and rely on your friends to keep you company and to avoid being by yourself. You're going to have to join clubs; and become more socially active in school events. Attend plays or join a study-group to occupy your free time. You have to learn to keep busy; and have fun without relying on other people, or a boyfriend.
If you don't break through your shell, you'll start to feel isolated. That is very normal. Anyone would. That's when you find ways to keep yourself busy with activities to take your mind off feeling sorry for yourself.
Friends can't babysit you all the time, and that's not what a boyfriend is for either.
He will share his time and enjoy activities with you; but he has other things he'd want to do as well. He may want time to spend with his own friends.
You need a hobby for distraction. You need to learn your way around; so you can catch up with other single girls, or guys, who just want to go the movies or dancing. Widen your circle of friends and acquaintances; and invite people to hangout with you. You have to grow-up and learn how to survive on your own. That's what college is all about.
Learn to be independent. You can't hang on other people's coattails; because sometimes they just don't feel like it.
If they are couples, they want to hang with other couples.
Being depressed will affect your academic performance and render you incapacitated. You are placing too much responsibility on others to look out for you.
If it is getting too much, let your parents know. The school also provides school psychologists to help you through periods like you're facing now. How you're feeling is very common for new, or foreign, students who need time and help to adjust. Please seek some counseling before depression takes hold. It is readily available on campus.
You can also apply for a part-time job on campus. Make a little pocket money, stay busy, and be around people.
A
male
reader, dude4love  +, writes (20 November 2013):
don,t feel bad or worry abt that becz ur in a teen age and this is normal in that u feel by seeing this .busy urself in any other work or for more discussion mail me private.
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