A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have a question.Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 3 years.I love her a lot and we have been through a lot.Now heres the thing me and my friend go to the same gym and so does my girlfriend after the last few weeks he has gotten very comfortable with my girlfriend,always making jokes play hitting her and she hits him back.I sometime feel like the third wheel when we are together.Hes even touched my girlfriends ass in front of(light tap)me as a joke and was like what are you gonna do about it.We are good friends but i truly think that hes passing the boundaries.Should I approach him about it and talk to him and show him who's in charge? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Azula  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Glad for the betterment.
Wish you for more good things to happen
Be happy and stay happy
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to thank you guys for all the help it seems like he us starting to listen now after we all spent the day together it seems like he got the message.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): Ok, your friend is acting juvenile saying "she did it first" and she is insulted that you don't trust her....and I think she is reacting pretty normally to a jealous boyfriend, you.
Seriously, be the bigger person and trust her until you have been proven she isn't trustworthy. I think she really does just see him as a friend and hasn't set clear boundaries with him about not hitting her on the butt as if she were a guy he plays basketball with, she is after all a girl. Just tell her you think she needs to do that with him to set him straight, but that you trust her.
You really can't go around being mad at her over another guy's actions and if you keep at her over this, you may end up pushing her away and I can tell you don't want that.
Man up here, you spoke now apologize a bit to her and let it drop. Time will take care of this more than likely.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have now spoken with my girlfriend and she got pissed at me that I was even having that sort of conversation with her about my friend. She said that she is just close friends with him and sees him more as a brother than anything else. I told her that the way she acts with him around mr is bothering me and that I don't want her touching him.But she basically thinks that I'm over reacting.I just think that if it bothers me then she should respect it and stop it am I right?
...............................
A
female
reader, Azula +, writes (11 July 2009):
That's the decision of a man.
Well that's a good start. Keep it up.
Thanks for the update. View things neutrally.
And good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI spoke to him about it and he said that he doesn't mean anything from itand that my girlfriend hits him first but that after he makes fun of her jokingly. I told him to stop touching her infront of me.Now we will see if things change I am planning on talking to my girlfriend seperatly about it and tell her to stop with this shit.If he keeps acting stupid I'm going to knock his teeth out and put a end to this once and for all.It was getting to the point were people at the gym thought that he was going our with her instead of me.
...............................
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 Yes! He is over the line and being disrespectful. Take him aside and tell him to stop touching her and check himself. He isn't much of a friend if he's touching her butt and then putting you down in front of your girlfriend. Don't take that! Stand up for yourself and don't let any so-called friends disrespect either you or your relationship.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): Say - what the f*ck, Dude! I thought you were my friend? If you do that again, you won't be. Is that clear enough? Also, tell your GF how you feel. She might be encouraging it. Careful there... this doesn;t sound good. Alternatively you might want to find another gym, and dump your friend. My guess is that he will start to call her or text her very soon.... This guy is no friend. He's looking to laid... Also, if your GF hasn;t said anything about it, I'd start to worry.... This is not cool.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): The next time he asks you what you are going to do about it, tell him you are going to pummel his ass. If you trust your girlfriend then you have nothing to worry about, having a friend of yours accept her as a buddy is a compliment to her, so I would reign in some of your jealous feelings and just give him a look or make a comment that you don't like him touching her, like whoa there, have you forgotten who her man is? Make a joke out of it and see if he doesn't get the message....if not he is a friend of yours right? Tell him in private how you feel about his actions and ask him what's up? He may be jealous that she is talking up your time and the two of you don't hang out as much, it could be anything.
...............................
A
female
reader, Azula +, writes (10 July 2009):
YES AND TOTALLY GO CONFRONT HIM!!!!!!!I think he is forgetting something that that girl is taken by his FRIEND!!! Damned with people like that.Oh! Sorry! Too much of a reaction. Here's a better idea.CLEAR THINGS FIRST! Try talking to your girlfriend and friend, differently. Observe the gestures and facial expression. If it is the truth, a lie or they are having doubts to answer.Then if what things will look like to you that's the time to make a move.
...............................
|
