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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm very worried about my friend of 5 years. She has recently started talking to someone on the internet and plans to have him come down to where she lives and stay with her. She is 24 and he is 17 and he says he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his live with her, even though they have never met. My main concern is that men tend to use her and she tends to have the next one lined up before she finishes with the previous one. Her family, our other friends and I have warned her not to take this guy so seriously until you have met him and know him better, but she doesn't take no notice. Is it best just to sit back and watch another man get what he wants from her and leave or should I try and speak to her again? Any advice is appreciated, thanks.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (3 February 2006):
 I would pretty much agree with what has been said above. She is 24 and ultimately make her own choices. I have been burnt more than a few times in online things and I know what it is like. Often you do feel that you know that person alot better than you would say if you met in a club.
You have done all you can and, hard though it may be, you just have to watch and hope things turn out for the best now. Also you can be there for your friend if things do go wrong but I hope for her sake that they don't.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2006): You've all warned her and tried to reason with her but she's made a choice..she's likely not going to listen. This seems to be a 'habit' of her...finding the wrong people to share her life with. She's 24 years old dear, and it's all in her hands. Just be there to love and support her, when she stumbles and falls. Most of the bad choices we make in our lives involve getting an immediate reward (this young man, instead of using one's common sense and ideals--she will end up paying the price later. She has to learn that long-lasting happiness comes from the efforts that go into forging her sense of character and self-respect. And you can't tell her anything that will likely change her mind. By the way, does his parents know about her? They may have something to say about their son taking up with your friend.
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