A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so here's the deal. Recently one of my friends gave her bf oral sex. I asked her over text and she ignored it. Then, rumors went around school so everyone knew basically. Then I found out it was true because she admited it. Shes only 12 and im 13 soon turning 14. I don't see her the same anymore. I find it disgusting to even think about. I never thought she would do that! And even though I have emotions for sex and stuff, I didn't do anything yet! What should I do?!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): You kind of just have to deal with it. Like i have just found out a couple of my friends have done some pretty dirty things with their bfs or random dudes and although its really disturbing to think about but you just have to keep going. Don't let it affect your frienshiip that much, but if its really bothering you, you should sit down and talk with your friend and tell her how you feel.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand anywayz she really isnt my friend anymore shes a bitch kinda and i dont even think she likes me ,
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): I think that as a friend you should be understanding of her. If you are truly friends then don't be one of those people saying things around school or entertaining anyone else's gossip for that matter. If she talks to you about it, then that is good. She probably needs someone to listen. If she doesn't talk to you about why she did it or any other details then don't pressure her. The last thing she needs is to feel like she is being treated differently by someone she considers a friend.For all the other responses, that seem to be criticizing oral sex amongst preteens; I agree that it is not what a parent would want for their daughter, to be giving blow jobs, however I grew up in an area where if you hadn't had sex (or at least had an interest in it) by age 14, you were a little weird, and to help curb teenage pregnancy, sex ed teachers, counselors and parents made sure that teens knew about non intercourse alternatives ie. Oral Sex, Masturbation etc.
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A
female
reader, DoYou5194 +, writes (5 April 2009):
 I don't think the right thing to do is judge her. She is no drifferent than she was before she did that. Right now she probably regrets it. Especailly if rumors are going around. She might need someone or a shoulder to cry on because when every one is talking about you that can really hurt. And I truly believe that it shouldnt change your friendship. As you get older you will realize that it was a dumb reason to lose a friend because of their mistakes. I hope I helped.!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): Forget about you feeling disgusted by what she did. What's more important is that she needs your help. She giving her bf a blow job at that age, and it's all over the school. Talk to her and encourage her to change her ways before she's labelled a bad name.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): I know you may be feeling judgemental at the moment, you got to get past that. I lost friends at your age for being too judgemental. It's up too her what she wants too do, yes of cource she's too young to be doing things like this but so what? Your not lowering yourself to her level so don't feel disgusted by it. Tell her she's too young but don't be bitchy towards her.
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A
female
reader, lillymay  +, writes (4 April 2009):
 well,i think u have a good head on those young shoulders and i have a daughter a few years younger than u and i hope she thinks as u do when she is your age.
this girl is so young and it is a horrible thought that a girl of that age feels she had to do that.
id be honest with her and tell her what u think and ask her if everything is ok with her.she might have had a reason why she would do this that young.c if there is anything u can do to help her gain some respect for herself cause this is a dangerous road to be travelling for someone so young.
if u decide that u 2 r friends then dont judge her but try and make her understand her mistake she has her whole life for men and men do not like easy girls.lillymay.x
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (4 April 2009):
 It doesn't make her a different person to what she was before.
Everyone does things with people at some poin in their life, shame shes only 12 tho.
Try and forget about what shes done and confort her, how do you think she feels with rumours like that going around?
Talk to her about how you feel but she hasn't changed.
Livia
xxx
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A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (4 April 2009):
Ithink that it ight help you if you could be honest about how you feel. Tell her that you are diappointed that she did not have more pride in herself and that you believe she is too young to being doing anything sexual but, you feel sorry that her mistake has resulted in the whole school knowing what she has done and that you value your friendship and want to put her mistake behind you.
I expect she feels bad now and the fact that the school know what she's been up to only shows that her boyfriend is also too young to be doing anything sexual with her as an adult would not be telling everyone what is a very private act between two people. Hopefully she has learnt from this and will change her behaviour. She cannot change what has already happened but she can put it behind her and move on with your help.
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A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (4 April 2009):
 well i can see how you are shocked and feel that she is repulsive right nnoww...i understand that-she's only 12 and she's already gotten herself in that time of stuff
but the truth is it's a shame that a lot of kids are starting soo early these days-but that's what happens
right now she needs you, since it's been going around school she needs someone to talk to, someone to confide in ..and that should be her friend....
you shouldn't shun her or feel disgusted by her, because it's a natural thing to do......if she hasn't yet, or is having it now she's gowing through puberty and she's gonna have these urges just like you might have or will have...
it's just that she started too early
so cut her some slack and be there for her
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A
male
reader, answeringmachine +, writes (4 April 2009):
Also, you should talk to her about it and tell her how you feel rather than just acting strangely around her. Then she'll at least understand more perhaps. hope that helped some. (Sorry for posting twice).
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A
male
reader, answeringmachine +, writes (4 April 2009):
I would just try to get past it. It's something between her and her bf, and although she's really young to do that, it's still her choice. I would just try to focus on the other things you like about her, she's still your friend :).
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