A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Mod note: Titled by poster okay, ever since i started dating my fiance he has always been VERY messy.. i knew that getting into itbut i never thought he could be as bad as i know now i make little notes for him on the fridge of a little list of "duties" i would like him to accomplish while I'm working and he is off seeing i do ALOT of the cleaning when i have days offand a little help on his end would be much help(I have a sensativity to water) so i can't do much of the dishes or any cleaning that involves water it sucks but i can still vaccuum, take the garbage out pick up after ourselves do some of the laundry(if it doesn't involve taking them out and putting them in the dryer seeing they are wet) ect ecthe NEVER completes those tasks.. on his days off i come home and find him either on the computer, watching television, or something else that doesn't involve cleaningso on my days off i clean my half of the house(the tasks i set for myself) most of the time also doing some of his tasks in the end and just stand there staring at the piled up dishes I can't do or things that should have been done ages ago that stress me out to no extent(he knows this) his car is ALWAYS messy i have to push things aside when we take his car(sometimes making my own car messy when he uses it) he leaves his dirty clothes on the kitchen table for me to pick up and his computer desk is an eye soreIt has gotten to the point i have had to call my mother and have her come to my house and CLEAN my house for me when i am not there in return either paying her or getting her lunch(she even agree's that it gotten out of hand)he ALWAYS cleans at his mothers when we go to visit but never our own house what can i do? advice on whipping this BAD habit of his on the butt would be greatly accepted
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 haha excellent! If he doesn't pick up his things then you will start throwing them away. I like it!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe did have a dishwasher.. it wasn't working properly so we trashed it
when we did have it though it was working great for the whole keeping the dishes done so i told him if he doesn't want to do the dishes he is to buy me a new one and ill do it!
thank you for the hamper idea.. i will be sure to try that!
i also told him last night that if he does not clean his desk I'm going to do it and things might get thrown out you don't want thrown out
needless to say.. he cleaned it!
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 August 2010):
Haha, I'm lucky if my husband does half my honey do list. I gotta tell him 2-3 times to take out the trash, that the dirty clothes belong in the hamper not on the floor, toilet seat down, I'm constantly reminding mine. One tip for the dirty clothes, buy him his own hamper and put it in the exact spot where he drops his dirty clothes, it's not perfect but it's a start. Give him a small list of chores to complete like take the clothes out of the washer, put in dryer, any water one you can't complete, then I would slowly add to the list. Do you have a dishwasher? If so he can load and unload that. Remind him your his future wife, not his maid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is an amazing person and to leave him would be like giving diamonds away
i guess i just have to live with it
It drives me nuts yes
but when i look at him and i could never LEAVE him because of such a stupid reason like him not helping cleaning.. our amazing friendship and relationship outside of the cleaning is not worth loosing
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): It's true, you aren't going to change him. You need to find someone you are more compatible with. Otherwise, he's going to drive you crazy for the rest of your life.
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male
reader, rivi +, writes (22 August 2010):
You will never ever change him.
If you can't live with having to do all the housework then leave now. He will not change.
Live on your own or with your Mom till you find a guy who likes house -work tasks [ tho' I suspect the sex will be less exciting ].
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