A
female
age
41-50,
*eachy
writes:Hi i need some advice, i was with my ex partner nearly 9 years, and we got engaged at xmas (he did this, it was not planned)... i was so happy and wanted to arrange a marriage, this is when things turned horrible - he said he didnt consider getting married even though he proposed, he is 27, and im 25. We ended up splitting up 3 month ago, and now he has cut all contact with me. He tells mutual friends he loves me and cant imagine not spending his life with me, but he has made his decision (he ended it). I really love him, and i am so confused by his actions, i have asked him if we can talk and he wont. we have had no contact for 1 month now (i do not believe anyone else is involved) HELP!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): I'm in a similar situation. My BF of 6 years (living together over a year) has just decided he wants to break up. First he just wanted a break from us living together for only a month and said he wants and expects us to be together through it and after it. But now he wants us not to be together when we do break....and as far as getting back together: he won't make any promises. He says he loves me so much and cares for me and this is the hardest thing he's had to do the last thing he wants is to find another person. My heart has shattered. So as for his reason, which I think may be the case for you, is that he needs the break up so he can work out his problems. Your guy may be overwhelmed with emotion, work, life itself. Some guys just can't handle feeling feelings. Mine has been overwhelmed with things...including caring so much for a person while ignoring his own emotional problems. He may be able to tell ppl he loves you and he still likely does. It may be that he can't admit or discern yet that he has issues that he's not capable of fixing while he spending his love on someone. If he takes too much time, demand reconciliation or closure...he loves you or not...he wants you back eventually or he doesn't. If he's telling ppl he loves you then that gives you the right to get YOUR answers and make YOUR demands.
My heart and sympathy are with you. It kills us. Hang in there
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