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My ex wants to keep in touch with me, but I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

my ex lover came to her home town where she still has friends; i also live in the same town. she wanted to visit me while she was here, but i refused, telling her over the phone that i had moved on and i didn't feel comfortable about seeing her, also that she was like a stranger and i didn't know her in the present. she cried and asked me if i would write to her. i have but i don't now if im doing the right thing. should i keep emailing her?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 July 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI think you are being VERY smart. You do NOT want to be in the middle of HER drama with her partner. ( if there is any)

Good luck :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you for responding. i left the relationship many years ago; we had been together 13 yrs. i haven't been involved with anybody in a very long time and don't plan on it because i'm comfortable with my independence, peaceful and content. ex lover is in a relationship. I've decided to drop the emailing because i'm beginning to have feelings for ex,and that's not comfortable while there's a relationship involved.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you for responding. i left the relationship many years ago; we had been together 13 yrs. i haven't been involved with anybody in a very long time and don't plan on it because i'm comfortable with my independence, peaceful and content. ex lover is in a relationship. I've decided to drop the emailing because i'm beginning to have feelings for ex,and that's not comfortable while there's a relationship involved.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009):

If you keep e-mailing her, she will assume that you want to be in contact with her. But you said you don't. So I think the only way to get that message across is to not contact her, no matter what she says.

It must be hard when she gets upset, but you are entitled to move on. And as you said, she is like a stranger now. Some people do think it is okay to just pop up from the past and try and start things up again. Which can be okay, but only if it's what both people want.

I would suggest to try and be strong, and not get swayed into contacting her if you don't want to. Otherwise, you could end up in a situation with her that you don't want. Good luck. x

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 July 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI think she is a tad unstable. I would suggest you do what you feel is right, so not feel pressured or "blackmailed" into keeping contact. Sometimes when a relationship is over - it is over.

Are you currently in a relationship? Because there is NOTHING like an ex wanting contact to stir up some drama.

How long ago did you break up?

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