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female
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anonymous
writes: Out of the blue my ex called and just wants to chat. We were together a long time....ten years and split two years ago.He has a girlfriend but tells me that he is unhappy in the relationship and says he will leave her when a current legal matter which is hanging over them both is resolved. I was over him but I am in a tailspin because I have heard from him again.He generally calls me from work when I am at work but says he can never call in the evenings or on weekends....well I can put two and two together about that. I like the guy but I do not want to hurt his girlfriend or myself for that matter. My attitude is that he is her problem now. I have even said that I would be fine with meeting them both for drinks but he says she would never go for this. Should I just got my losses on this one or is there a way to me friendly with an ex without anyone being hurt?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): If he cared for her or you at all, he would not be keeping either of you in the dark. Speaking from experience. . . he is using you as a safety net. Think about it. . . he is making both of you girls an option not a priority. I think he needs to grow up and prove his words with actions. You ate for sure better off to cut your losses and walk away. Its super hard, but . . .how would you feel if you were in his girlfriends' shoes? He obviously doesnt respect either of you if he is stringing both of you along. He will either wimp out and stay with her and hurt you . . .or leave her and get your hopes up only to leave you for someone else and then say "thanks for being there for me". . . you are a smart girl, find a smart boy that knows that you are amazing and treats you like it :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2006): Why was this even asked? What is the moral thing to do Ms. Anon?
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A
female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 I think you should cut him lose, don't let the guy back into your life again. He's an ex for a reason just remember that, he doesn't seem to care about hurting his current girlfriend and wants secret meetings with you. this is not a guy to be trusted, cut out of you life before it's too late and your attracted.
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