A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my LDR for eight months. I love him and our sex life is amazing. We have lots in common and always have fun together.Sometimes though, I feel like he hasn't got much time for me. We don't get to see each other that often and I'd just like to chat to him a little more. He assures me that he loves me but just says he enjoys his quiet time. A few days ago I bumped into my ex while shopping. I went back to his place for a catch up and a coffee. When I was there he told me that he's never really got over me and he'd like us to try again. I realized I missed him too and being back at his it felt like I'd never left. However, we split up due to the fact that our love "fizzled out" after being together for six years and neither of us did anything to change it.I don't think I'm in love with him but I love him as a person. When we were together he had all the time in the world for me. I've given it some serious thought about getting back with him, however I am IN love with my current boyfriend. I feel so torn and I feel so guilty because I don't want to lead any of them on. I haven't had sex with my ex but I have been spending a lot of time with him. I really don't know what to do...can you love two people at the same time?
View related questions:
love two, my ex, sex life, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MSA  +, writes (12 January 2015):
 My suggestion would be to keep your distance with your ex. You already know your love fizzled.. been together 6 years and haven't really moved forward... plus you know you don't love him like that. What you have is only history. Let it remain history.
It's not fair to keep in contact with your ex and reminisce about your past. You are in a new relationship now and should focus all your attention and energy to the new man in your life.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2015): I believe you can deeply love two people at the same time.
However; the fact they are two different people, there is always something that tips the scale in favor of one over the other.
I think your LDR satisfies you sexually, and he's still a novelty; because you haven't really known him but eight months. Your feelings for your ex is sentimental and you have a history.
The most successful relationships are based on real-love.
Not riding on the fence. One guy you've been with for only eight months. You don't see him as much as you want to.
So exactly how deeply in-love can you be in such a short period of time?
I think you have so much room left for your ex, because you're not over him, and the other guy is your rebound love.
I think both are equally risky. One relationship will be strained by distance; and the other is reconciling with an ex. The odds are highly against the success of reconciliations. Most people end-up breaking-up a second-time.
You said you don't think you're in-love with your ex; so is there any real choice to make?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2015): It seems time together is important to you. You may love your LDR....but he doesn't have time for you. It's simple as that. You will always bee seeking more and feel unfulfilled. It's pretty much just a deal breaker.
I think the only reason you are hanging with your ex is to fill this 'void' Whether or not you are having sex with him....you are cheating...emotionally.
I would recommend to choose neither. You don't deserve the LDR because you are a cheat. And why go back with the ex....does he even know you have a bf? I would guess NO.
So choose neither and be alone.
...............................
|
