A
male
age
30-35,
*ikerocks
writes:My ex-girl friend tried to commit suicide. she has been through a lot in her life and said she wanted to give up. I told her thats not the answer. When she calls i barely speak to her because im upset and mad at her and dont wanna speak. she asks if im every gonna go back to being the bubbly guy that i am and ask if i hate her. i told her that i dont hate her. when she calls can hear the hurt in voice and she starts crying and i fell bad that im making her cry. Am i wrong for being upset and mad at her and not wanting to talk to her? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mikerocks +, writes (4 October 2010):
mikerocks is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks very much for your answers
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 October 2010):
 Honestly, I would tell her that you can't handle talking to her right now, that she needs to back off and seek some professional help.
Suicide is such a HARD thing for the people around the person who tried to take his/her life, to deal with.
You have a LOT of feeling about what she did and none of them will help her or you to share right now.
It was HER choice to try and kill herself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): I am a counsellor, and I'm mentioning that, as some advice to you already is " Try and find time to have a day out together for a change of scenery. If she wants to open up to you then you could tackle this together." Although on the surface this seems the NICE and CARING thing to do, it isn't, DON'T DO IT!
First, she is obviously very emotionally at an all time low, would like to re-kindle the relationship, and YOU having any kind of contact, such as a day out together, will only prolong what she's feeling and give her HOPE, as she will SEE kindness, willing to spend time with her as an opening for her, and a softening of your decision that the relationship is over.
YOU are NOT responsible for someone else's happiness, regardless of what they have been through in life, nor your duty to pick the pieces up of someone who is already PERHAPS emotionally needy due to previous experiences.
I am looking at this objectively, because the softly, softly, shoulder to cry on is very likely to increase her dependence on you.
YES anyone who tries to commit suicide needs professional medical help, but again this is not down to you, you are not a parent. I presume you ended this relationship in a manner she could ASK questions, be allowed to at least understand why you felt it was not working. IF you did this, that is the end of your responsibility, and my advice would be don't engage in conversation with her, don't discuss the why's and wherefores..if you do, this will continue, and every time you attempt to completely CUT out communication, she will revert to saying life is not worth living and try do something to get YOUR attention.
If it's over, it's over, so think about this...Any communication, is HOPE for her, and she will cling to this. So if you have acted the gentleman and ended this relationship properly, and you will know what I mean, then you have nothing to question yourself about, and she has to learn this is part of life, and deal with her emotions in her own way.
Jilly
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (2 October 2010):
 Try to encourage your girlfriend to go and see her doctor. She may need a counsellor, someone other than your or the family that she can talk to about why she is feeling like this because obviously there is strong reasons. You are not qualified to deal with this, she sounds depressed. She could have an underlying medical condition or it could be something else. Be sure it is something that she can't deal with without some professional help. Trying to commit suicide is a cry for help. People who want to commit suicide dont usually fail so she probably is crying out for help. Try and find time to have a day out together for a change of scenery. If she wants to open up to you then you could tackle this together. She needs to be able to deal with things that she can't let go of and then be able to move on positively. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Youngtroubles +, writes (2 October 2010):
The best thing you can do is comfort her. She sounds like she's going through a rough patch in her life. When she asks if you'll ever be the same just say that you worry about her. I hope this helps
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