A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why does he always do this? am really hurt:(? ? ? Whenever I speak to my ex boyfriend and I ask him why he cheated on me, lied to me and dumped me, he gets defensive and angry and never give me the answer that I want. He gets angry and makes me feel like am the one in the wrong. He says he doesn't want to talk about it or think about it cos it makes him feel that and that he's not happy he treated me the way he did. We were talking last night he got really angry and told me to ring him later (I didn't) cos he needs sometime to calm down. he even said he hates me:( Why does he do that? The least he can do it tell me what I did wrong that made him do this to me. It keeps playing up in my head. I don't think he understands how I feel! Thanks..x
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 You did nothing wrong, he cheated and dumped you, possibly out of guilt. he said he hates you, possibly mirroring that he is hating himself.Time will tell at this point, you can't force him to give you answers he may not have. He may be as confused as you are.Lay low, don't force anything until (and only if) he comes to you. In the meanwhile, it sucks, it hurts and it's not fun.But you'll have to get your mind onto other things. Set a daily time limit on when you will think about this.Don't let it consume you as it does with many people.Pay attention to those around you who also may need your time and your attention. Work, friends, siblings, parents etc.It's a road block in one area of your life. Walking into walls gets you bruised. Follow the roads that are open for service and you may find that you have neglected some very important places that you need to visit.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (25 April 2011):
Why are you hurting yourself like that? I mean, who cares why he cheated on you and dumped you. If you were the real cause you would be certain about it. If you have no idea, then you aren't the cause of this. Maybe there is no reason. Maybe he lost the spark. As long as to keep asking him you can't move on. And you live in the pain. That's a self-destructive behaviour.
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A
male
reader, holdfasthope  +, writes (24 April 2011):
I will try to answer this as best as I can. I am the guilty party in a situation myself, but was honest about everything and told her why I did it. Your ex needs to be honest and admit he is solely responsible for his actions; only then can you give him another chance. If he is serious about changing, it's worth a shot; what's the worst that could happen? Anyway, that's my opinion, and I have entered a good recovery program myself (therapy, psych care, support groups, quitting alcohol use,etc.) because I know these changes will make me a better person in the long run, regardless of what my ex does decide (I hope she takes me back). Hope that helps!
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