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female
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anonymous
writes: I broke up with my ex-boyfriend 3 years ago, (almost four). I still feel like I love him. I have not contacted him and have gone about my business. He has a girlfriend and a month ago they moved in across the alley from me. Now I see them all the time and it is making life tough. I don't want to become obsessed. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): As tough as this is to do. Ignore them-and make a promise to yourself that 'they will NOT affect you'. Keep busy but do all you can to 'detach'. emotionally and physically. As long you are focused on this ex, you are being soooo unfair to you and you will never put your heart, soul and mind into getting your life in order and starting another relationship if you want one. And that is a such a sad, huge waste of time. You know that obssessions can be very irrational and unhealthy. People obssess over lost love because they haven't healed from the loss. Added to that hopeless feeling they are dealing with all those negative inner voices that tell them..."you're weren't good enough, that you'll never be loved or you're not entitled to happiness". One's self-esteem takes a whallop. So think this through rationally. I know you are strong and you are entitled to love again. But only after you heal and recover. You will fnd happiness but sitting at home moping about the ex across the alley, is shortchanging your progress. Take care of yourself, exercise, eat well, get plenty of rest, think only positive thoughts and stay very, very busy. You can't do anything about where they live, hun...but you can make good decisions about how YOU live. Take care and be strong
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): Oh you poor love! This sounds like a worst nightmare come true, and I really feel for you. I think if it was me I would seriously consider moving away, but I guess the sensible thing to suggest to you is to keep your head up and carry on with your life. There will come a day when you have someone new and special of your own to share your life with, and when that day comes, you won't care what your ex is up to anyway.
Take good care, and keep busy xxx
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A
male
reader, richierich79 +, writes (1 June 2006):
 It is hard to give up on someone you love, but it is also true that if you love someone you must let them go. He has moved on, and I am afraid you must too. Be respectfull of his new relationship, and find some hobbie you enjoy to improve your life as well as take your mind off of the situation. If it is still to much to handle, moving may be a realistic option.
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