A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,It's now been two months since my girlfriend ended our relationship. While I thought I was finally beginning to get over her, I've felt as bad or worse than I did since day one of the breakup. I just feel at a complete loss, and am not sure what to do next. I avoided contact with her for nearly 7 weeks, until she talked to me every night for a week online. Ultimately, I even saw her in person the other week, at her instigation. I know this contact with her is likely the cause for my downturn in mood, but it's also reaffirmed my love for her. I've attempted to stay busy--working out, reading, enjoying time to myself, going out with friends--and I have even went on a date recently. Nothing seems to help--I find myself lonely and sad, and feeling utterly hopeless. What can I do?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 August 2007):
 You don't mention what she's been saying in these conversations, nor why she wanted to meet with you. It would be good if you updated us on this.
However, I think I can give you some advice. You're feeling this way because you want her back. Your greatest need is to know, for sure, whether that will be happening or not.
It was she who ended the relationship. Apparently, she didn't say she wanted you back. So, what you have, here and now, at the table, is the fact that you are not in a relationship with her. This is how you need to behave.
If she comes to talk to you again, tell her how she is making you feel, and ask her to give you a clear statement whether she wants to come back to you. If she doesn't, you have your answer as to what to do: stay away from her.
Why did she break up with you? Is that situation over now? If you came back to her, what would your relationship be like? The same thing that ended, or anything different?
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