A
male
age
36-40,
*lopezee
writes:This last weekend was my birthday, and few months ago I had mentioned to my older brother that I would like a meal that just included the immediate family (2 sis, 1 other bro, and mom)A year ago my dad passed away 2 days after my birthday so I told my brother that I really didn't feel like having a party. So after we agreed to have a 'meal', he invited over 50 people to attend the ,now, party. Only about 20 showed. Anyway, during the party most of us were drinking...I had invited a friend of mine over to join us that same night. This 'friend' had the idea to throw me in the pool, so him along with my girlfriend decided to lure me into the poolside and throw me in. About 12am and about 15 beers later, my girlfriend tells me to "lets go touch the water and look at the stars", me being the romantic guy that I am thought it'll be nice and cute. My cousin came from behind and threw me in. I was having a wonderful time singing and dancing, but after that I was upset with everyone for plotting something like that against me. By the way, I was wearing slacks, dress shoes, and a silk shirt...and my phone. My phone was trashed. So to make a long story short, my brother said it was just a joke but I took it as I was being made the joke for everyone else and didn't take it lightly. I got into an argument with him and he threw the party to my face saying he paid for everything etc, I told him that I didn't want the party and I think that hurt his feelings. I also argued with my girlfriend, my cousin, and the friend I had invited. My brothers wife then said we always do things like that, snapped her fingers and kicked us out (girlfriend and I). So I guess my question is what do I do now? I don't want us to be mad at each other...I know I over reacted but I was drunk and honestly what bothered me most is that I felt everyone was in the plot. Everyone knew but no one told me...also everyone was blaming my girlfriend for it and threatened to 'jump' her. I don't know where to take it from here...any suggestions anyone?
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male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 You may not be aware of this but I think you were upset about the anniversary of your dads death and this flowed over to the party. Just mention this to your brother and friends and they will understand.
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 aw hun i don't think you were the joke and the reason they never told you was probably because they wanted it to be a surprise and a nice one.
although you told him you didn't want one he probably thought it would be nice to actually really celebrate your birthday party!
you were not the joke they just wanted you to chill out and relax and have some fun on your birthday hence they thought it would be funny to push you into the pool!
i'd love that on my birthday :D obviously without my phone!
that's a bummer!
but they shouldn't threaten your girlfriend.
why don't you just explain to everyone how you felt maybe if they knew that you felt more of a joke than the birthday boy then maybe they'll understand and explain to you themselves why they did the party without your consent?
your brother may just wanted you to have an enjoyable night and let your troubles fade away.
i mean it's nice for a family meal but your birthday got to be celebrated and he obviously thought it was a really nice idea.
try talking to your girlfriend explaining what you felt that night that you felt a joke and perhaps she can understand why you reacted the way you did and also tell your brother.
at least thank him for throwing you a birthday bash so he knows you appreciate the effort he went through!
hope this helps hun :)
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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