A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all this is about my brother. So me and my brother are not close my live nearby . He is extremely rude but better nowadays. Very very selfish self centred person but I just wan to be nice and get along. We both have daughters . Mine is 2 and his is 5yrs old my daughter loves playing with her niece since she is so young . However my. Niece sometimes prefers to play alone. My brother is extremely over protective of his child and doesn’t care about my daughters feelings. He lives with my parents and wen I go over with my daughter and his daughter happens to be playing alone he will just tell her to continue and that nobody shud force his child to play with mine. Even if his daughter is playing. With a toy that is dangerous for my daughter he will make sure his daughter continues .. my daughter is quite aggressive an demands for that same toy and creates a mess.. I am very displeased by his behaviour and it is also very rude.. what should I do visit less often? Since this things trigger my anxiety alot Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 February 2021):
 I don't have any inner hate, sorry.
And no, my screen name has nothing to do with who I am.
I'm not saying your daughter IS a spoiled brat, I'm saying if you keep insisting that others always accommodate your child - she CAN become a spoiled brat.
I have raised 3 daughters.
Upper case words are emphasis - not statement of truth.
No one says you have to take to heart what I write. I've never claimed to be the sole authority on raising kids or telling YOU how to parent. I'm giving you my 2 Cents based on your post.
I read your post, I responded.
Take it or leave it.
I'm not here to cuddle you. Regardless of my screen name.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2021): Wow.You are acting like those kids are seven and ten not two and five.Even if they were older this is not ok.Do you seriously expect a five year old to entertain a two year old???really???Your daughter gets into the five year old things and makes a mess????Why are you not watching her???You should always be watching a two year old especially in a house that is not baby proof for her own safety.To not to do so is neglect.I think you need some parenting classes asap..Cps has removed kids from their homes for this reason alone.Your kid is two not ten and really needs watching all the time from an adult not a five year old.You are the kind of parent that you read about in the news.....I do not know how she got hit by that car officer....It is the five year olds fault she is her babysitter.Yeah see how long you have custody then.Get some real world help....Take some classes...because you are putting that two year old in danger and it is only a matter of time before something that could easily be prevented happens.God save this baby.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2021): There's no real problem here. Your brother wants his child to be left alone, when she wants to be left alone!
You have no right to push your daughter onto his; or demand she either share or give-up her toys to yours. A two year-old is practically a baby, has limited speech-ability, and doesn't have the comparable mobility and development of a 5 year-old! She plays with the "baby" when she feels like it! You don't get to bully her into it!
The issue here is between you and your brother; and you're projecting your problem onto the children. If you haven't resolved whatever childhood rivalry you have going-on between you and your brother; stop forcing it onto his daughter!
If you can't be civil, and you think he's inconsiderate of your child; seems blatantly obvious you shouldn't push your daughter onto his when she's being moody.
It seems to me you're just instigating an issue; because you've got a bone to pick with your brother that is totally unrelated, and has nothing in the least to do with the children.
If his kid doesn't want to play with your two year-old; pick her up and go home!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2021): I one hundred percent agree with honey pie.I also think you should take some parenting classes.I also think you should try some therapy.You get zero do overs when raising a child.Do not mess this up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2021): First of all my daughter is not a spoilt brat ! If u have nothing nice to say don’t have to honey pie! Thanks for your advice yes all
You said is true but u r not as sweet as your name huh. Not everything has to be put in this way to someone you don’t even know . I know how I am raising my daughter! Putting things in caps doesn’t make your points correct ! Seems like you have a lot of inner hatred go deal with that maybe
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2021): First of all my daughter is not a spoilt brat ! If u have nothing nice to say don’t have to honey pie! Thanks for your advice yes all
You said is true but u r not as sweet as your name huh. Not everything has to be put in this way to someone you don’t even know . I know how I am raising my daughter! Putting things in caps doesn’t make your points correct ! Seems like you have a lot of inner hatred go deal with that maybe
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 February 2021):
No, your brother is not wrong.
Your daughter is 2, if his 5 year old daughter DO NOT want to entertain your baby she shouldn't HAVE to.
Are you kidding?
Maybe YOU should parent your daughter more? "my daughter is quite aggressive an demands for that same toy " SO WHAT!? She isn't ENTITLED to get whatever SHE wants because she is younger!
She is 2. While most 2 year olds are super selfish and have not learned the concept of "this is mine" and "sharing" - that doesn't mean they should just GET whatever they want! What kind of child are you raising?! The kind that throws herself tantrums when she doesn't get her way? The one that doesn't understand a no?!
If HIS daughter is playing with a "dangerous toy" well, then DO YOUR job as a MOM/PARENT and find something else to entertain YOUR child with!
Should you visit less?
Probably! His poor kid!
I would suggest you read some parenting books on how to NOT raise a SPOILED brat! because you are heading that way.
COULD he be more considerate? Sure, he could ask his daughter to put "dangerous toys" (whatever those are) away while your and your daughter are there. But under NO circumstances should he MAKE his daughter play with yours. That will only create resentment. And resentful kids can be cruel. My guess is you would LIKE them to be friends as they grow up?
YOU could BRING some SAFE toys and TELL your daughter that THOSE are for HER to play with, that BIG girls have their own toys.
I'm sorry if I seem harsh, I just can't fathom how unrealistic your demands are.
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