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My brotehr is 38 and still still at home and interfers in my life

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Question - (27 March 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 March 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

This isn't a relationship problem so I don't know if anyone minds me posting about siblings?

But anyway, I'm so tired of having drama at home I don't want to yell or scream at anyone anymore and just want to be peaceful...so one night my boyfriend was kind of drunk and asked me to pick him up around 12am, so I left my house and my brother woke up and saw me go out he didnt say anything or look at me just having that weird attitude of his so i knew that I was going to hear an earful from my mom the next day. So next day I come home from work then went to greet my mom then she quickly asked where I went then I told her I had to help my bf and she started getting into crazy mode had to know exactly why I went out late/where exactly, I was only out for less than a hour, it suddenly became a big argument and I just left the house because I couldn't stand it anymore.

So the problem is with my brother here if he didnt say anything to my mom she most likely wouldn't even know I was out, I really feel my brother is trying to cause trouble between me and my parents, he seems to be trying to compete to be the 'better child' but the thing is were grown hes 38 and I'm 29, he drives me nuts over little things he doesn't say anything to me and goes directly to my mom and talks then my mom will come and annoy me. Am I really wrong to go out late to pick up my bf that got drunk? It's like when our house is peaceful and quiet my brother gets bored and has to cause some drama and gets a kick out of it or something? Ever since my brother and his ex gf broke up and later on he moved out and back home now his attitude has changed drastically, he would never bug me or do any of these things. He and his ex broke up about 5 yrs ago already, and he's just so negative about everything and anyone besides my other brother that's married. I'm just getting attacked at home every now and then about something usually my brother would start out of nowhere, I don't know how to stop these things from happening and it really drives me crazy to have to argue over nothing, I really wish he would just get a long and not act the way he's acting, I don't like the feeling that family members aren't getting along so I would never try to fuel up my parents more over something my siblings did and rather try to help stop it. I just don't understand.....the only solution I can think of is to move out of the house but my job is so unstable it's hard for me to move out.

What is wrong with my brother and how should I deal with this?

View related questions: broke up, drunk, ex girlfriend, his ex, moved out

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A female reader, uzer Canada +, writes (27 March 2013):

You both need to move out. You're certainly old enough. I don't live with my parents and I'm 19.

If you don't want to listen to anyone telling you what to do because you're an adult, move out and you won't have to worry about anyone's rules. But while you're living with your mom, you have to abide by her rules because it's her house.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013):

i suggest you need to get another job (if possible)to move out,try talking to him but maturely(not as if hes has austism or something)so no excuse, but if hes 38 then tell him to get a goddamn life! gosh your parents nor you should have to deal with a pathetic grown man and tell him to get a job while hes jacking off on the couch(sorry but true)

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