A
female
age
41-50,
*INKISH
writes:my boyfriend asked me to marry him 4 months ago. He did not have any kind of romantic little speech or poem. He didn't even say how much he loved me- just plain old "will you marry me". He has not brought up getting married ever since. What can I do- I am really disappointed and almost wish I wouldn't have said yes. It just really doesn't seem that special or important to him- i am worried I will have this kind of disappointment my whole life? Will He ever be romantic or meaningful? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Princess D.  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 i wrote this answer anonymously 2 someone else's question like yours. i got proposed to on the 13th of this month, a month b4 my bday. He proposed to me in my rm with no ring. I was excited because i love him and i dnt need a ring to knw he loves me. he took me ring shoppin Tuesday gone.when u truly love someone u dnt care bout da material , i knw im still gettin da ring bt i loved da fact he proposed to me, have asked me to be his wife. I said yes! with a huge smile and a racing heart. I love him. I 2 dreamed of a romantic proposal truly alot of women couldnteven get a marry to mary them even if they begged or gave them the world. be greatful u wat romantic, ask kindheartedly. i am lucky, u 2. most girls aren't.
God bless you dear!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): A proposal is a big deal. It is something your kids and friends will always ask you about. I have dreamt about how my boyfriend will pop the question. I think in a very polite manner you should tell him how disappointed you are. If you are not in a rush to get married, give the ring back. Therefore, in time he can ask and suprise you again romantically. No offense to your fiance, but it is very selfish of him not to ask you romantically and think of you. Even the most clueless men know how special a proposal should be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): tell him nicely that you would like a bit more romance in your relationship. hopefully he will listen, seeing as he must love you if he wants to marry you!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 July 2009):
 Nope he won't. Men marry women thinking they won't change. Women marry men thinking they will change.
Both are wrong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): Well if someone walked up to you on the street and handed you a pound of chocolate and walked off (assuming you liked chocolate), would you complain because he didn't compliment your eyes? I sure as hell wouldn't.
My hub's proposal wasn't picture perfect. It was on the couch of my friend's apartment, and we couldn't afford a ring at that time to he didn't have one. But it didn't matter, and it still doesn't. I wouldn't pick anyone else in the world to be with, reguardless of the proposal.
The act of proposing has been seen in movies as such a wonderous thing but in reality, it's just the asking of the question. Shouldn't the wedding and your dress be the more special part that you focus all of your attention on?
If you want the subject of marriage to be brought up again, then bring it up. Please do not be doubtful because of the way he asked. Is he the one for you? Do you love him more than life itself?
Because i think that's all that matters.
~Sy.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (23 July 2009):
 Some girls go through their life just desperate for someone to even ask them to marry them, so in many people's eyes you are very lucky to have a man that actually wants to marry you!
I guess as women we all have ideas of how we want the proposal to be, but in reality often things dont match up to what we have in our heads. You said yes when he asks, so I'm assuming that you love him very much and you cant imagine spending the rest of your life with someone else? If this is the case then surely how he asks doesnt matter, it is more important that he asked in the first place!
Men often dont understand romance and some men just are not particularly romantic - you must have known this from the start? Or has he suddenly turned less romantic over time? You cant expect to change him - he is what he is and you should love him the way he is.
Have you brought up the subject ever since or are you waiting for him? He might be worried that you are having doubts (which you are seen as you posted this question) hence he will be reluctant to bring up the subject.
Why not get some wedding magazines and start going through them with him? If he sees you getting enthusiastic about the wedding he might get more excited about it too. I dont think telling him that you are disappointed with his proposal would be a good idea, he will be hurt and it will make him less likely to be interested in getting married.
So instead start planning your wedding! If your fiance is not a romantic person then you need to inject the romance yourself - how about suggesting you write your own vows? That way he has to come up with something romantic to say! Get your fiance involved with the wedding planning and you will soon see that it is important to him, he just expresses things in a different way to you.
If you really love this man then you will forget about this minor, insignificant disappointment and focus on what really matters - you have a fiance who loves you and who wants to marry you. That is what all girls dream of, and you are so lucky to have found a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you!
Focus on the positive here and forget the negative, and I'm sure once the wedding planning starts then you will forget all about the proposal.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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