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female
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anonymous
writes: Hiya, everyone ...Alot has happened over the past few days, for me, so I'm going to try and keep it as straight and in order as humanly possible, but it might be a little jumbled, so sorry in advance:I'm currently 17, and my boyfriend is a 23-year-old, who works part-time at a not-so-good shopping branch, (for those who don't live in Australia), and who is obsessed with video games. He'd rather be playing games than talking to me, and he'd rather go to a LAN than come to see me (which, for those who don't know, is when a bunch of people get together, connect their computers and play computer games all night without sleep until morning - they basically sit around and eat junk food and drink soft drinks all night ... it's so bad).He's currently searching for a new job, but he's only doing it half-heartedly and his emotions go up and down and up and down, CONSTANTLY, like they just can't stay STRAIGHT. I /know/ he can do better, I /know/ that if he made the effort, he'd end up as a really good partner and possibly parent, for the future, and he's very sweet to me when we're on our own together... but his friends are a TERRIBLE influence on him. I'm not trying to speak about him like I'm a parent of his or anything, but it's the truth ... half of them are jobless and just sit around living off the Dole and playing computer games all day. The ones that /have/ jobs have really crummy ones that they don't have to work hard at ... basically they'd rather all sit on their asses and do nothing all day, with the exception of games and anime cartoons. And he says that he /wants/ to do better with his life, but he just lacks the effort... every now and then he gets bursts of effort, but then something happens, like a LAN opportunity comes along and he just lapses into playing games, and forgets about everything else.But, regardless of all this ... I can't break it off with him. I just can't ... I know he can do better, and I /know/ I'm in love with him, and I think that's one of the reasons he's with me, too. He knows I won't break it off with him, so he can do whatever he wants and I'll still stick around. Which just kills me inside... (NOTE: Everybody, don't get this wrong - he's a really nice guy, but he does all of this subconsciously)Anyway, I should really get to the point. One of my boyfriend's friends and I are quite close (just best buddies, recently - he's 27, ten years older than me) and, recently, we've noticed all these emotions popping up for each other. It happened the Sunday before last, actually - we both just started staring ... And, since then, throughout the week, we've been talking about it. The thing is, his emotions are growing (REALLY growing) and mine are fading ... VERY slowly, but surely. We've both figured otu that we've noticed stuff like this before, but we've ignored it. He's dating my boyfriend's best female friend.He and I went to the cinemas to see and ... something happened. Sure, we give each other cuddles, but only friendly ones, usually .. however, we just went nuts in the cinemas. He touched me (you know what I'm talking about) and we kissed, and he even started to go down on me. I could tell he was aroused by the way he was breathing... But then I realized what we were doing, and pushed him away. I burst into tears.Because of my confused emotions and all the other things going on in my life (there are family problems - I'm moving out, soon ... and friend problems. Various things going on, y'know...) I haven't been eating properly. I've started to lose weight, because I just keep stressing about it - and my boyfriend's friend hasn't been sleeping properly, either. It hit him, after he'd calmed down, that we'd both just cheated on our partners. He feels terrible, and so do I, but we know our friendship will never be the same. Which sucks, because I've never been this comfortable around ANYONE, before ...Please, all those here at Dear Cupid ... I know my story is long, but I needed to get it all in.... What do I do???
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): your boyfriend sounds like a loser who compartmentalises you neatly into his life like the junk food dinner he probably eats in twenty seconds. if this guy is so easy to be around ditch the fool and score his mate. problem solved. just make sure you stop cheating because it will mess your future with the one that you REALLY want.
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