A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am absolutely devastated. my boyfriend told me a while ago how fantastic one of his exs was in bed (to hurt me because of something nasty I had said). One year into our relationship i've asked him why he said it, he said 'not as fantastic as you'!!!!!I thought our sex was amazing but obviously for him quite comparable to someone else which has absolutely killed me inside.
View related questions:
his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): Tell him you dated men with bigger penises and that size does REALLY matter to a woman. That you have had mind blowing sex with your exe's. Then dump his sorry ass.
He shouldn't be making you feel insecure about your sex life together. That is a huge NO.
By the way I was "graded" once on my performance. Needless to say, he got an F in my book and I kicked him to the curb. The pig.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): My boyfriend said the same thing, and we weren't even arguing! Needless to say, I dumped his ass.
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (5 March 2013):
 What your boyfriend did was sleazy and slimy. He really took a personal stab at you and your feelings are certainly justified. Everyone likes to think that we are the "best" the person we are with has ever had. That is generally not the case in reality but telling the other person where they stand in their sexual history is a low blow by any means.
What the take home message here for you is that yes you deserve to feel hurt, but your boyfriend is WITH you -- not his ex. So there is obviously something he sees and experiences with you that wasn't there with his exes. That does say something positive about you and your relationship.
However, I hope you take a moment and really think about how you resolve your differences as a couple. Couples fight. They argue. However, if your disagreements turn into nastiness, and words are said that can't be taken back, it may be indicator that your relationship is not meant to be. If your relationship is filled with events like the one above you describe above, you should rethink whether this is truly the loving partnership you want to be in.
Eddie
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (5 March 2013):
 LMAO, Cerberus, way to tell it like it is!
Chill out. This happened a YEAR ago and you're still clinging to it. You said your sex life is good, you're both satisfied. So what's the problem? Why make a problem where there isn't one?
What he said was insensitive, but it was meant to be. Was it smart of him to say? No, but things said in the heat of an angry argument rarely are. Let this go.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): Wait a sec, he didn't even say she was the best, just fantastic. Christ OP, big deal. You didn't really expect his ex to be shit at everything did you? I mean she's his ex, he dated her because she was good at some things you know?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): He said that to hurt you OP, not because it's necessarily true.
You got nasty with him, he got nasty with you and now you feel hurt and insecure that it may be true.
OP your sex can be amazing and still not the best he's ever had you know. Is your ego that fragile that you have to be best everything for him?
Well I hate to break it to you but it's very unlikely you are his best in all ways. Maybe he's had a girl with a better ass, tits, tighter vagina or gave better head, maybe he's been with a woman who was better at maths, stronger than you, smarter, taller.
OP it was a stupid thing to say, but all it did was burst your little Twilight fantasy bubble that you're perfect at everything. The reality is unless you're a guys first then his ex will have been better than you at something. Doesn't mean you're not amazing. Love is not a competition with his ex's and he was a fecking idiot for saying that, you're more of an idiot for caring.
OP don't let it worry you or depress you, just do what most women do and realize the potential of that statement as a means to punish him in future arguments or when he pisses you off. That's gold dust in terms of that OP. Remember it and bring it up as an example of how much of an asshole he is in future.
...............................
|
