A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have two children and he has left us. he has a new girlfriend already and its been a wee. she is determined to stay with him and is trying to be super nice to me even though ive known her for 6 years and know that her intentions with him are fake. says he loves her and he dose not love me and that hurts very much. she sent my step mother a hate message and i confronted her and ended up beating her up, i know she does not love him and is with him just to spite me and that hurts even more!! i really love him with all my heart and I really want him back!! i am so clueless and now he is ignoring me, he said that because I beat her up i am dead to him and he has not called since it has happened. i am so scared that i have lost him forever!! i really love him and I really want him back, what can I do? i really want him back. please help!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011): continue to be the fighter and mourn privately but not for long. Not even this will kick you down for good. I'm glad you handled it pretty fair, I'd say. Way more grace than I ever could.
I'm happy for you and hope you turn to your loving support of family and friends and stay strong.
We are here for you.
*hugs*
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for all your replies I take all of them into consideration really. I am generally not a violent person but because she has been hurting my family and friends for 6 years I guess it got too much, I did not take her on in front of her or my children, I would never do that. I was hurt because we have been through allot in the past seven months, whilst I was pregnant I suffered from severe depresion and was making everyone around me miserable and eventually realized it and moved out, he was very upset and didn't speak to me till the birth of our son 2months ago. The morning our son was born he came to me and asked if I would give him another chance and he would help me through my depression and therapy, I said no and that I was unloveable, he refused to accept that answer. Then due to medical negligence our 3day boy ended up in the neonatal icu, my son and i were in hospital for 2 weeks where she attempted to seduce him but he refused. He came to visit us regularly and stayd until the security would ask him to leave, my love and respect grew stronger for him because he was by my side every step of the way and so got back together. We where discharged from hospital eventually and at home my depression did not subside it got worse and finally I agreed to therapy, it was 1 month and he told me the one saturday morning that he is very sorry but we cannot be together because he feels he is the reason for making my depression worse and left. That night I started receiving messages from his new found 'love' stating how much he did not want to be with me and how much he loved her and how happy they are together and all I could find in my heart to send her was that I forgive her for all her trespasses against me and my family for the last 6years and I hope they are happy, but she continued to provoke me by sending her hateful messages and then the last straw was her sending my mother a message, o was sooo enraged and sad at the same time, I called his mum and took her with me and told her to take her son and the kids into the lounge and no matter what they hear or happens not to come out, I locked the lounge door and took her into the study and calmly asked her to tell me what it is that she expects from me by sending all her hurtful and demeaning messages, she stepped closer to me and started spitting words into my face that I did not deserve happiness and that he deserve a good woman like her that was not depro or tried to keep him by having children, I got too angry and beat her badly. Afterwards when I realized what I had done I told her she was a waste of my time and energy and that I forgave her for the 6years worth of anger and pain she caused us and walked out. The next day I got a message from her saying she was sorry and wanted forgiveness and seeing that I had already told her I forgive her I did not reply and haven't spoken to either of them since, when he comes to see the kids I leave them with him and go stand outside or do something in a different room so that he dose not see how much I really miss him or how much I'm really hurting.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2011): Frankly speaking, why would you go after an unfaithful dog who left his children for another woman? Think about this, if he has left you once for someone else, he can do this again and again in the near future if he decides to come back and you take him back. He would have the guts to leave you whenever he would need to or when he would find someone else that would attract him. Forget about you, he has left his own kids, his own flesh and blood. If he can abandon them, there is no way in the world whom he can be with someone on permanent basis or stay with one person all his life, he will keep jumping from one girl to another since he has no stop sign. so think about this, Is he really worth your time? I understand you've kids with him, but personally i would rather live single than be miserable with a used good.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2011): Wow beating up another person is not okay and not lady like. You ex-boyfriend is not the type of person you want to be with if he can behave in that matter. However your kids are the most important thing here and seeing this behave from their parents is not okay. If your old enough to have kids then your certainly old enough to sit down together and have an adult conversation about the kids
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011): If the guy is acting like that then it sounds like to me you and your kids are better off without him but if you really want him back, Show him what he's missing by acting like you don't need him or want him. Get up on your feet without him by your side and build up your life without him in it and then if he decides to come back you will be doing great and truely be able to decide if you want him or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011): Wow! First off, I know its not a very loving or kind thing for me to say and definitely not Christian but the whole beating her up for mistreating your Mother and for Stealing your Man...
I'm jealous. Thats some serious teach you to mess with me going on. I would love to have done that in my past relationships but I would have a criminal record.
Okay.
Its bull about he doesn't love you because you beat her up, he's just using that as an excuse.
He left you and your child for her BEFORE all of that so he can stop the BS Holier Than Thou bull crap. You know that.
Could he have left you because he was fearful you would beat the crap out of him for making a mistake? Hmm.
I wouldn't even want such a wimp back, personally. You are a fierce Woman and deserve an equal and this Ex of yours; is not that guy.
If she is a fake, he'll discover that, and he'll coming crawling back. But lets hope by then, you got wiser, stronger and found a FAR MORE DESERVING man to love and honour and that man reciprocates.
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