A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has just announced to me, two months in to our relationship that he is planning to emigrate to Australia as soon as his visa (which he had already applied for) comes through. I feel very hurt but don't know where I stand. We have fallen in love very quickly and he was hinting at moving in to my place so I don't understand. I asked him where we stand and he said he hopes I will come with him but he understands if i don't want to - which I take to mean he doesn't care either way. I have a job, nice rented place which I have just done up and family and friends. He has started to mention australia in every conversation now and its getting me down feels like a black cloud. Do I carry on this relationship or am I being used? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, vickygal +, writes (30 July 2008):
Wow - this is a tough one!!I suppose it all depends on how much "love" means to you? I mean, I am a total romantic, so I think that moving to Australia to be with someone you love would be an incredibly romantic thing to do! However, my life has been full of a lot of drama because of my willingness to give up everything for "love", and I really do admire those people who seem to have their "heads screwed on", who can make decisions based on "practical" things like jobs, rent, etc... You seem to be one of the latter people - and, as I said, this is a very admirable thing. You have got to a place in your life where everything seems to be working out - you seem pretty well-balanced at the moment, like and like everything has been making sense for once. This man coming into your life probably made everything seem "perfect" - how could things get better? And then BAM! he throws out this shocker! All I can say is, don't be thrown too much... it is a curve ball, but don't be too dramatic about it. If you had to end things now, you know that your life would be fine - as fine as it was - before he came onto the scene. You sound pretty sorted, and I have no doubts that you might meet somebody else equally lovely. In fact, 2 months isn't a very long time to get to know somebody - and would you really want to go through all of this in a foreign country? However, if you are feeling a slight twinge of "craziness" creeping on - and a slight hint in your gut that he might actually be "the one" - well then, why not throw caution to the wind and do something ridiculously spontaneous? It would certainly be a story you could tell your grandchildren! ;)
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Moving to Australia is very important for this man. He would like it if you went with him. He would equally go there if you didn't. So, he's playing his own hand of cards. What about yours?
Is it convenient for you to move to Australia? If you think it could be, maybe you can wait for the visa process, which, according to Emily, takes forever (I wouldn't know) and get to know him better.
If you think it's not convenient to go there, break up now.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 July 2008):
Well put yourself in his shoes... he's planned to move to Australia, he gone through the visa process which takes FOREVER, he's ready to go and then he meets you. He may be falling for you too, but that doesn't mean he can change his plans or abandon his dreams.
He's asked you to come and now he's talking about how great it will be to try and convince you.
If you can't go with him then tell him soon and then it's up to you whether you continue to see him and then say goodbye when he leaves, or if you end it now to stop yourself falling any deeper in love with him.
This is just a case of bad timing.
Good Luck!! xx
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