A
female
age
30-35,
*ophieKG
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now, and although he was always religious, this past month he's gotten a little out of hand. He's 28 and I'm 25, and I guess you could say we're both looking for something serious. I grew up in a Catholic household, so I'm used to going to church on Sundays and I initially liked that he is of a similar background. However, he's started going every day and I feel he's becoming a bit fanatical. It took him more than 3 months to hold my hand and when he kisses me it's barely a peck. I don't know what to do... I'm starting to get scared that he's going to be like this or worse in the future. He's a great man- no denying that. This is the only part of him that makes me uncomfortable. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2012): if you're not as into his religion as his is, then you should get out of this relationship now. For him, his religion is THE defining aspect of his life, he will revolve the rest of his life around it. You can bet that it's only a matter of time before he starts casting a judgmental eye on you as to whether he approves of you as a mate. If he's very religious, he likely has very conservative views on what the role of women should be if married. Can you conform to those views willingly and happily?
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (19 June 2012):
 You have gotten great advice here. Think about it this way. You are 5 months in and he is worrying you that much and lets be honest if he is that fanatical he may never look at you sexually other then a baby maker. He may be too extreme for you and you haven't put a lot into the relationship so I would leave.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (19 June 2012):
YouWish give sage advice below. He is who he is, esp regarding his religion. He likely will not change it, if you are not comfortable with it, you need to make a change.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 June 2012):
 You have to either accept him, or move on. There's no changing someone's religious convictions. You've hit a major issue of compatibility, and unfortunately, it's often religion that can be the stone that breaks a relationship.
This type of zeal might also be indicative of a career choice and lifestyle. This guy may be a future Senior Pastor, or evangelist, or career missionary.
Also, and I'm speaking from experience, going to church every day, unless it's some sort of cult he's into, tends to lend itself to burnout a few years down the road.
If a life of serious piety isn't for you, you might want to move on. He's choosing his life path here.
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