A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are only able to have sex once a day. Then if it has been too many days in a row then he can't do it at all. Sometimes we can go a week without doing anything and he can still only go once, or have to wait a few hours to be able to go again. He is older than what I am used to dating, 29 and I usually date early 20's, but I have never heard of this. It isn't really a problem for me, more of a curiousity thing. Like since he is unable to go more than once, we cannot have oral sex because he doesn't want to waste the orgasm on a blow job. Of course I can still recieve. And I am happy and he is amazing at what he does. Just like I said, curious if it is normal since I have always been used to doing it a couple times a night (maybe blow job then sex or sex a couple times) then maybe after a few nights needing a one day break. He also said he tries not to masturbate since if he goes then he can't go again later if I want sex. I always thought guys needed to masturbate? Or maybe not needed it persay but always did anyway. I used to take it personally like he just didn't want sex with me when he couldn't get it up again or wouldn't try or something but now I have kind of accepted it as the norm. Any similar guys out there? Once again not a complaint- just trying to learn how guys work since he says he is completely normal yet I've never met anyone quite like him :)
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blow-job, oral sex, orgasm Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know he takes vitamins but I did not mention one other thing. When we do have sex it will be at most 5 minutes. He has been with other partners and was fine. All of my ex's also lasted at most 3-5 minutes, without problems with other girls they had been with. Could this have anything to do with only being able to go once? He said once if it is very intense then it is harder to get going again. And I will admit I used to give him some guilt about it but that was quite some time ago, I am used to it now and have no problem. Just wanted to ask on an advice site to understand things better from other men etc.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): It may be a phase, it may be him. I'm 41 and I can still go 2 or 3 times a night, even as many as 6 recently, but not as predictably as in my younger years where I could call it up anytime I wanted and make it last forever. There are some times I can barely go once, or attempt to a second or third time and lose it if I dont rest long enough. And doing it a lot over several days does result in reduced drive and less ejaculate. But that's usually normal for any age.
Don't put pressure on him...the male body is unique..not a machine. Every guy is different.
What you can maybe ask him to do (if he doesnt already) is exercise and take male multi supplements rich in zink, vitamin e and other "male" stuff. I do notice a definite help from taking them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk thanks. That's what I was wondering basically since I haven't ever dated anyone older. I'm glad it's normal and nothing wrong with me or him. Thanks again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): It's the age. He's totally normal for his age.
Men aren't built like women. They have a "refractory period" that has to be waited from one orgasm to the next before the body is ready & willing to go again. The older the man, the longer it is.
The whole thing varies from one man to another, but in general the only guys who can get off several times a day without wearing down are the youngest ones. It's not about being aroused or not (although that affects it) it's just the body is only willing to do it so often. As far as nature is concerned if the "load" isn't freshly mixed up and prime then it's wasted.
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A
male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Most men do need some rest after an ejaculation and more than once a day is difficult especially after around 25, I guess (though exceptions exist). Nothing whatsoever to worry about - fairly normal.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): Did you know that men reach their sexual peak at 18 and from there it is a slow gradual decline? When I was 18 I could ejaculate 5 or 6 times in a day, but 20 years past that 2 is all I can manage now. Regular ejaculation is actually quite tiring, and men need a break, the older they are the longer it is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): Is he in shape? Fitness may be an issue here for lack of sex drive. Once a day is prob normal tho..im just a bit of a freak and so i dont wanna look down on the guy. Im sure he's fine and this seems about average just the way you describe is like a less sex drive and that can correlate with lack of exercise.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Well all men are different, majority of men after they come they need a rest they cant just get it up again but it usually only takes a little while maybe even an hour but shouldnt take all day yet all guys are different as you say and maybe he just doesnt have a high sex drive. But maybe if this has only started happening maybe he should go and get checked out in case there is an underlying medical problem.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Everyone is different. I'm older than him and I can go more than once a day, but who knows. If it's not a problem, then that's all that matters.
Many men masturbate, even when they have fulfilling sex lives. But that's not everyone.
Have you tried to get him hard again after an orgasm?
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