A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm really worried i'm separating my boyfriend away from his friends. He seems to spend all his spare time with me, and he's never with them, and whenever I suggest it his response is always "I'd much rather spend my time with you" I'm flattered and everything, and I do love him, but I don't want him to end up friendless, because I know they've been complaining a lot about it behind his back lately. I've said if he wants to see me and his friends at the same time, I don't mind going out with them, but the trouble is one of his best friends asked me out a while before I started going out with my boyfriend, and I turned him down, and I know he hates me for it after he told my boyfriend that I was a whore and that I slept with everyone etc, so my boyfriend won't do it because he thinks it'll end in an argument, and yet I know he doesn't like some of my friends but I still let him come out with them. I have no intention of splitting up with him at the moment, but if I did I fear his friends would turn their backs because that's what he's doing to them, he just doesn't realise, and that he'd have no one there for him. Obviously I can't force him to spend more time with them, but how can I get the point across? I don't want him to think that i'm trying to say I want to spend less time with him because i'm getting bored, because that's not the case at all. I feel as though if I say anything, it could be taken the wrong way.
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): I dunno how much of a problem it is. All my friends and I did the same thing. We fell head over heels for our respective girls, and never made time for anything else. We were all still there for each other after the relationships ended. In fact, one chap and I were each dumped in the same week -- because we were so bummed, we were the only ones who could stand to be around each other, and we became best mates for the next 20 years. So let him worry about his friends.
Now, if you're feeling smothered, that's another issue entirely. ;)
A
female
reader, Lyshler  +, writes (15 April 2009):
Talk to him girlfreind,what u asking now bring it to his attention.It's very nice 2 spend time with your man but he has to balance his life.He needs freings.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Are you able to spend time with your friends? Cos maybe you should suggest that when you go out and have fun, he should do the same. Tell him honestly that you want him to go out with his frends for like 'male bonding' time and say it would also free you up to spend time with your friends.You need time alone as well or else this will suffocate what you have. He sounds a lil clingy so encourage him and constantly reassure him he will always have you when he is out with his mates.Best of luck
...............................
|
