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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello,i have been with my boyfriend now for about 6 and a half months. Things have been fine for the most part, we talk all the time and are seriously close, but recently he's been acting strangely, distant and doesn't want to show me any affection at all. I asked him about this and after a lot of conversation he said he doesn't know what he wants, he needs to get his head straight because he doesn't know what to think. I said that he can tell me anything that is worrying him, but he gets really defensive. When i said that his behaviour was making me feel worthless and miserable he said it wasn't anything to do with 'me' at all. I think that he wants to finish it, but is scared that he might not be doing the right thing, what do you think? He said he loves me lots and lots, likes spending time with me and finds me attractive...so i'm really really confused. Any suggestions? We have actually been apart for a month as 'just good friends' but we got back together so I know that being friends won't work with us, so if its over i will have to sever all ties. This will be the hardest thing i have done, as i have never been so close to anyone. Should i let this drag on, with him being 'confused' and his 'head being a shed' and support him, or should i be brave and break it off now? I don't know whether this is man speak for 'go away' or man speak for 'i'm worried about something and therefore am trying to push you away'. God this is depressing.I have been told that this has nothing to do with it, but we haven't had sex. I'm a virgin and this is my first relationship, he has had 6 girlfriends previously. We have talked about sex etc and he says it isn't a problem, but the past few weeks he has not been as interested in progressing things as he was before (we have talked about contraception and that he has only ever ejaculated with one girlfriend, so i should be prepared if he didn't). I don't understand whats going on. We are so open with each other usually.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Evangeline  +, writes (7 October 2006):
 Hey
You need to do some serious relaxing and find some time out from this situation! I found myself in a very similar situation with my first boyfriend after roughly the same amount of time.
By trying to 'read into' everything he says and comparing it with everything he does is just too much and too confusing for you because he himself doesnt know what he wants. In fact i'm betting that the situation hes in at the moment is nothing to do with you at all, but other issues to do with his family/friends that are pressing on his mind. Don't try and press him for answers at the moment, just concerntrate on things that make you happy; go out with friends, meet new people and have fun.
Taking a step back for a while will make the situation more clear from where you stand and it will be easier to see what you want.
Good luck hope everything works out
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