A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is a virgin and when i try to have sex with him he try's to make a joke. He cant be serious. Does this make him a jerk or does it mean hes scared? should i keep trying or, drop the subject? Should i take charge if we get to that situation or, should i let him be in control? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Maybe he is scared you have a hairy vagina, most causes to date are 74% in the world with this, show him your vagina and ask him what he wants to do to it, get him up to it and he will go for it. :D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): Maybe he's just not ready to have sex yet. Perhaps he is afraid that he will not satisfy you because you are experienced and he is not. Just let it happen in its own time. Eventually he'll cave cuz he is a guy and you'll both get some pleasure.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (9 June 2009):
 hun think of it the other way around...
would you like it if you were not ready to have sex with him that he kept on and on at you trying to get you to sleep with him?
he's clearly not ready for this kind of thing just yet.
just leave it for a bit until he feels more comfortable about it all and he'll let you know when he's ready :)
he;s making jokes to try and put it off because he clearly isn't that ready for it.
Hope this helps :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): from a guy...
If he is a heterosexual male, he will eventually want to have sex. He probably wants to right now (yes, even as I am writing this answer; in fact I do too, anyway...).
He is probably very, very anxious with lots of fears and questions: Will she like me? Am I big enough? Will I only last 10 seconds? What if I don't get hard? Will I do a good job for her? Will she orgasm? How do I do it? What if I don't have a condom? I can think of lots more questions he probably has or should have.
He is scared and anxious and has a natural fear of failure.
You take the lead and be very reassuring that it will all be fine, he will be fine, and then you must live up to it. Remind him that there is no such thing as below average sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): For whatever reason, it's not right for him just now. You're willing and anxious. He's not. Respect that, as you would want to be respected if the situation were the reverse.
If you're not willing to wait for him to be ready, move on. Which is exactly the same thing I would say to a guy given the same circumstances.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): How does making a joke when you try to have sex with him make him a jerk? If he doesn't want to have sex, then you should stop trying to force it on him.
Sex without consent is rape. Male or female.
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