| A
male
,
*mr
writes: I love my boyfriend and we have been togethr a little over two years now, but I have to leave him.He loves me and is not bad to me in any direct way. He just makes me unhappy.When we first started seeing each other, I had a good social life. Whereas I was prepared to give it up to a degree, it seems I have lost it entirely.He is often tired from working hard so I can understand a bit, but he just will not make an effort for me, ever, unless it is convenient to him. I can not even get him to agree to something as simple as going to a movie every once in a while.He made it clear early in the relationship that he thought it was wrong for one partner to go out (or do anything for that matter) without the other, and we had many arguments aplenty over this. I eventually gave in to keep peace at home.But now I brush my friens off all the time, and am in fact down-right abrasive towards them when they invite me out... of course, he says he has changed his tune and does not mind if I go for drinks after work etc without him, but the damage is already done for me.And I can not talk to him and try and get my point across. He is just so stubborn that he does not listen to other peoples points of view.I spent a year of this relationship on anti-depressants. They worked in that they made things bearable for me, but that really is no way to live. Since coming off, things have started getting bad again. Not as much as before, because I just don't try to enjoy myself anymore.I need to leav him. But it is so hard. not only because I do still love him, but also for financial reasons. I just can't afford to right now. my sister will be able to help me at the end of next month, but I don't know if I can last that much longer.God, it is going to break me heart to leave him, and I know he will be devastated. Is it really possible for 2 people to really love each other, but for it be bad for them to live together? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2006): It's soul destroying to stay in a relationship that you know is not right. I'm in the situation myself where I love my boyfriend but I have to leave because he's a workacholic and after many arguements I've had to accept he's not gonna change for me. The longer you stay, trying to convince yourself you can make it work, the more miserable you'll feel especially if he's stobborn and doesn't listen, because you'll feel as if you're doing all the work to make it work. It's hard to let go, but it's harder to stay when you're doing all the fighting.
I hope it all works out for you. x
A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (22 June 2006):
 The thought is harder than the reality. Wise advice from Paul Simon: "there must be 50 ways to leave your lover". Fifty! Just pick one.
...............................
A
female
reader, camille +, writes (22 June 2006):
 Breaking up is always hard when you love the person but when you know it's not right, you have to do it. Finances are no reason to stay. It's going to be tough and you may have to look into your options first and get something sorted, but when you have, you have to leave. This relationship is not right for you. It is not giving you what you need or want. What is the point in living your precious life by someone else's rod? The answer to your last question is 'yes'. Not all realtionships are good and work, it's hard work. You are losing your identity with this man so it's destructive. There should be compromise in relationships not sacrifice. It's time you got your life back and your friends. Hopefully they'll all be understanding and supportive. Good Luck. Don't worry, it won't be easy but you'll come through ok.
...............................
|
