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female
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anonymous
writes: ive been with my b/f for nearly 4 years, he is an amazing guy and i couldnt be happier, but there's just one thing, he says he has been engaged before but he broke it off cause he felt trapped, but i would love to be his wife and i dont want to look a prat and propose to him, how could i ever make him change his mind?
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female
reader, matron +, writes (21 May 2006):
 Hi, you cant change his mind, only he can do that. If he talks about his previous engagement and how he felt trapped is he trying to tell you he's starting to feel trapped in this relationship or is he just warning you not to push him into any kind of committment at this time. Perhaps he's happy with the way things are between you and thinks things may change if you get a ring on your finger.You have to talk to him about your future without being pushy, this is a two way relationship and it cant just be on his terms that would be selfish, but if its going nowhere you need to know. Try to find out if he has had bad experiences in the past that related to marriages eg did his parents divorce, was there violence. If the relationship has lasted 4 years with few problems then its not you that he has committment problems with. Talk to him its the only way to find out what he's afraid of or what he really wants. Good luck
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 You dont say how old you are?...If you two are in your late teens or in your twenties then for some guys that would be considered young to settle down,you have been with him 4 years so it looks like he is serious about you but obviously doesn't want to make a full commitment with marriage etc.When you are having a conversation with him,why dont you ask him where he see's you two together in another 2 to 3 years time?... If he doesn't really know then you might have to bind your time and just enjoy what you do have with him....Saying that,if this boyfriend of yours has said to you that he was engaged but broke it off because he did feel trapped then really its a hint that he doesn't want to take it further yet.If you feel that after 4 years your relationship isnt going anywhere then you will have to weigh up the odds....hang around and wait for him to change his mind or tell him you want more of a commitment and wont settle for less and see what he says.Good luck.
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