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My boyfriend can't satisfy me sexually, and it is making want sex with is brother.

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 November 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 11 December 2012)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Dear. Cupid, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and have lived with him and his brother the entire time. I love my life the way it is and I love my boyfriend. I want to spend the rest of my life with him,but he can't satisfy me sexually. I constantly find myself wanting to have sex with his brother that lives with us. His brother would never instigate anything with me and neither would I with him but I can't get over how badly I want to have sex with him. I dont know what to do about it and meanwhile I'm about to go crazy from not getting any good sex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012):

you should let your boyfriend know what you want from him,sexually... d way u want him to sexually behave with you..he is the guy you love.. so be open and just talk to him about it.. :) dont lose a loving guy for sex..they are very hard to find you know.. or you can simply try to arouse him.., they are olso horny whern they are full of love.. but be careful not to try too hard that he may notice

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012):

I constantly find myself wanting to have sex with his brother that lives with us.

I can't get over how badly I want to have sex with him.

I dont know what to do about it and meanwhile I'm about to go crazy from not getting any good sex.

I gave been working on some techniques including kegel exercises and we r going to tfh a vibrator as well. I was scared to bring it up because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I have had good sex with others but I can't climax with him there's just not enough stimulation to bring me all the way.

idk what i was thinking even wanting sex with anyone else

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You've been with your boyfriend for 2 years, and have lived with him the entire time. You moved in with him before your first date?

This man is not the right man for you.

You are working on Kegel exercises.

You should be working on communicating your sexual needs to your man of 2 years. Either you provide the stimulation you need during sex with him, or better yet, you teach him what you need.

The fantasies that sex with his brother will be better are simply a distraction to the main issue.

I think in fact that subconsciously you are creating the drama that will end the relationship that isn't working for you.

Definitely move out. Then you can re-evaluate the relationship which became too close too soon.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012):

I appreciate yalls answers and y'all are all right in some ways. I do love myboyfriend. I gave been working on some techniques including kegel exercises and we r going to tfh a vibrator as well. I was scared to bring it up because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I have had good sex with others but I can't climax with him there's just not enough stimulation to bring me all the way. As for his brother I know when j work on things with my boyfriend then the temptation will receed because I am in love with my boyfriend and idk what i was thinking even wanting sex with anyone else

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A male reader, Cerberus Ireland +, writes (15 November 2012):

Cerberus agony auntHow do you know the brother would be any better at sex OP? You don't, it's just fantasy.

A couple of things I wonder OP, have you slept with other guys they were better?

And in what way can't he satisfy you sexually? OP there is no such thing as can't in my opinion unless he's paraplegic and can't move, even then if he can move his tongue he can give sexual pleasure. He either won't, you haven't figured out how or your version of sexually satisfied is perhaps a little strict.

I mean if he doesn't make you orgasm during intercourse, welcome to the club the vast majority of women can't. Does he not give you head, make you orgasm that way? What's the deal?

I mean I've been women who I was just a bad fit with physically, or we just clashed in terms of how we liked sex, but that we made up for that using oral, manual and even vibrator stimulation.

This really is a weird question OP, you don't even mention what steps you've taken to improve your life, just that your solution is to want sex with brother instead.

The solution to this is to learn better sex OP, it can be learned. There is no real excuse as to why it can't be good, unless you want something he can't give and if he can't give it then that's that. just hope and pray you don't have a moment of weakness or drunkenness with the brother because this won't stop building up OP, it's going to explode eventually.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (15 November 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI love my husband. he sucks in bed. Totally completely sucks. He knows this too thankfully. I would never consider having sex with someone else... I can bring myself to orgasm and my husband ROCKS my WORLD in terms of love and affection....

Does your BF know you are sexually unsatisfied? IF NOT you have to tell him that it's not ok with you. See for me it's ok... I know that sex is not the be all to end all in a relationship and it's certainly not worth losing my partner over...

If you are happy with everything but your sex life, you must tell him and work on it... and then if you won't leave you have to accept it the way it is... and part of accepting it is NOT desiring sex with others.

I personally think that brother needs to move out... if you want to save the relationship....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012):

I'm not going to act on the impulse I have self control. But I'm not going to give up my relationship NY life is better with him in it and I want to spend my life with him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012):

Disaster waiting to happen. Move out and start recognizing that you are not in love with your boyfriend. He is not the one for you. Time to acknowledge the reality and find a man who ticks all the boxes.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (15 November 2012):

DV1 agony auntYou need to end the relationship now, before you do some serious damage, or you need to move out, before you also do serious damage...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012):

How can you say you love someone but want to have sex with his brother ? That is so wrong! I understand this is how you feel but really!? If you want better sex show the guy you say you love what to do, tell him you need more from him, explain what he needs to do in order to make you not want his brother! Oh and just something that may help, STOP THINKING ABOUT SEX WITH HIS BROTHER!

If you truly love someone you don't look at someone else and think gee I am not fulfilled sexually by this here man I love so I am going to think about sex with someone else, (and I don't believe it can just happen either) you need to communicate to your man!

I have been with my husband for 20 years, we have been married for 16, and never, not once have I thought about sex with another man. When things aren't right we work together to fix it, I tell him everything, there is absolutely no secrets between us, and that is because we love each other, we respect each other, and the biggest thing is we communicate.

We DO NOT hold back ever.

We each know where we stand in the bedroom and out. If I am not happy in the bedroom we work together to fix it, same as if he is not happy we fix it!

Learn how to do this and you will have your happy ever after. But really if you can even think about sex with someone else, you don't really love him.

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