A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:How do men act when they really want to end the relationship but they don't have the guts to do it themselves? My b/f of 5 years goes through extreme mood swings. One day he'll be sweet and wonderful, and two days later he's yelling obscenities at me and telling me to get out of his life. Last night during one of his manic episodes he started a fight over something trivial and when I told him I was not going to be talked to like that it escalated into a horrible fight. When I asked him if he really wanted our relationship to be over with all he could say is "It's your choice". He had no opinion either way. Was this just the anger talking? I have suspected for awhile that he doesn't want to be in a relationship but when I ask him (when he's in a good mood) he always says "Yes, of course." I'm getting very confused. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 September 2009):
Many women have had the same feelings as you. You want to stay and help him and you feel sorry for him. I hate to tell you this, but all those other woman ended up hurt. Sit this guy down and say that if he doesn't get help, you'll have to leave because it's destroying you (which it slowly is). You have to mean it. I know you care for him, but if he's not willing to seek help, you need to ask how much he really cares about you. There are other great guys out there who are more sure of themselves and will treat you far better. I think unless your boyfriend makes some seriously active changes (getting diagnosed), then you need to be very brave, end it and find someone who will care about you. Don't become his carer just because you feel sorry for him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe has symptoms of being bi-polar but this is a topic for a major argument so it is un-diagnosed because he refuses to acknowledge it or get help. He has always been like this, but over the past few years, it seemed to get better. Now he's digressing or he's acting up hoping I'll pull the plug. I'm not sure which. I find myself wanting to stay and help him, but not to the point of being abused which I feel at this time. I've tried to set boundaries, but nothing really works. I truly feel sorry for him as well, which makes me want to stay. He can be wonderful otherwise.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 September 2009):
He may have manic depression, or 'bipolar', if he's always acted like this. i'm not a doctor though, so if you're worried, you could always speak to a doctor about his symptoms. Maybe they could help?
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