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My Bisexual Secret

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 November 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 27 November 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ayleighcouture writes:

Okay, so, I'm bisexual. Ive known it for a while, and I share everything with my boyfriend, but is it the right thing to tell him this? Hes already worried about other guys trying to make a move, letalone a girl. Should I tell him and risk him worrying too much or keep it to myself? Also, for the record, right now, Im not interested in any other girl or guy, just in case you think that this is the reason for me bringing this up. Please help my decision.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009):

@ female anon - Its true, it does turn us on some. That said, it only turns us on sexually and a lot of us wouldn't consider a long-term relationship with one.

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A male reader, rick0289 United States +, writes (27 November 2009):

I agree with caring guy... unless your getting really serious he doesn't need to know. If your thinking about marriage, then you might want to share this with him, if there's a chance that you're going to want to have a female lover in the future.

Guys hear women say that they have a lesbian tendency (or Bi) and IMMEDIATELY think that they have a ring side seat at a threesome with your HOTTEST GF. He could react in ways that would drive you nuts...

This is personal, and right now doesn't effect him... save it for when and if it does...

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A female reader, puppylove101  +, writes (26 November 2009):

puppylove101 agony auntUH... ok not telling him is the worst thing you can do. If you don't tell him and he hears it from someone else, he's going to get suspicious and question your trust. If you calmly explain to him that there's nothing going on, and he's the only one. Then, he'll understand and leave it alone. But, if he doesn't, then he is clearly not the one for you. Just tell him before someone else does.

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A female reader, Jay_Jacks United Kingdom +, writes (26 November 2009):

Jay_Jacks agony auntYou shouldn't have to hide who you are! If he can't handle that you like guys as well as girls then surely that's issues he has to deal with?

If he loves and respects you the way a loving partner should then he will be proud of you for being honest with him and respect you more.

If he is paranoid already that other guys are after you he is probably going to get paranoid that women are too. This is something only you and he can work through.

I wish you the best of luck!

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A male reader, charlie p United Kingdom +, writes (26 November 2009):

I'm not sure. It's possible he may not find it so threatening? also he'll find out sooner or later, if he thinks you werent honest about it, he may draw unpleasant assumptions.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009):

you might want to tell him. I've found a lot of guys like bisexuals. they say it means that the girls are open to more things and they like that. it actually turns them on sometimes

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (26 November 2009):

You might not be interested in another guy or girl, but if you say to him you're bisexual, he might think that. Best to keep quiet about it. He doesn't need to know.

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