A
female
age
30-35,
*amami
writes:I have been living with this guy close to one year now.everything has been ok and had plans to visit each others parents and our parents know about it.our plan was marriage but he suddenly changed. Like he says he is not sure of what he wants and when I ask why he says he doesn't know.am hurt because I have never wronged him,he had given me hopes and I knew that I already have someone.now things have just changed with no explanation.all he says is, he is not sure of what he wants and he still wants me to continue living with him because he is afraid he would lose me if I left the house.am confused and hurt at the same time.I am 23 years and he is 27,he's been treating me so well,he is been so good but now I can't just tell what's happening after even telling all his friends that he's found someone and he's getting married soon.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 April 2013):
 I think you need to draw the line and leave him. He's breaking up with you, but he's too scared of doing it properly, so he drags it out. He suddenly doesn't know what he wants? All that tells me is he never knew what he wanted, OR, he's been cheating on you.
Then he's too scared to leave you, so he wants you to stay until he feels comfortable enough to properly dump you. He's just stalling.
It's veeery easy. Either you want someone, or you don't. If he tells you he doesn't know what he wants, then you have your answer: he doesn't want you. You need to leave him and find someone else who actually knows what he wants and is mature enough to tell you. At 27, he is old enough to know what he wants. He's just not telling you. Unfortunately, I think he's keeping it a secret because he cheated on you with someone and doesn't want to tell you.
If he wants you he will tell you. When you leave, he will try to win you back if he actually loves you and wants you.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 April 2013):
 If marriage was promised, and now it is not, and yet he wants to keep living with you, with all the benefits of marriage, you need to decide if that is enough for you.
If I were in your shoes I would feel tricked and cheated.
Tell him to move out, and ask him how much time he needs to make a decision if he wants to be with you or not. If he decides he does, then he needs to marry you. If he decides he doesnt want to be with you, then no marriage.
If he says he wont move out, tell him the only way he can stay is marriage. it's his choice.
I can understand if he isn't sure about marriage, it is a BIG committment, but it is not fair to you for him to live with you and get all the benefits of being your husband if he wont make you his wife.
My very best wishes to you, be strong and do not let him take advantage of you.
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