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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend had been going out a year and a half. Things were great, then he told me that he wanted to join the army. I knew he wanted to do this before we met but nothing was ever said until this far in the relationship. It broke my heart. I felt that he obviously didn't love me as much as I loved him. I felt he had been selfish. He had let me fall in love with him just to break my heart. We argued continously and we finally broke up. We both still loved each other but we both agreed it wouldn't work any more. He dumped me. We were still seeing each other as friends and then one day we ended up having sex. Every time we saw each other after that, even though we tried to resist each other, we would have sex. It was amazing. When we split up I was seeing someone else. This was a rebound thing and this bloke knew it. After 3 months of being apart we both still loved each other and we got back together. I found out that when we were apart he was seeing someone else, even though I had done the same thing this really hurt me. He still hasn't gone in the army due to complications but he will be going in May. Do you think I'm right to be hurt by him seeing this other girl? Do you think this relationship will work? Should I end it now or should I give it a go?We've been back together for about 4months and we still argue all the time,i cant remember the last time he came to me for sex, i cant remember the last time his main aim was to satisfy me.When i found out about her i asked him to delete her number as i had deleted the number of the bloke i was seeing. He agreed and deleted it infront of me. The other day he received a text when we was watching t.v. he read it infront of me and it was from her,the message looked like a reply, but he said that she text him a week ago, and he had replied on the saturday but he hadnt text her since, i dont know what to do, will this relationship last? I really love him n it hurt so much when we split before, i went weeks with know sleep because he used to sleep in the bed with me. Please help xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2006): hey fanx for the advice, i just thought id add that wen he gt the text message from her i looked threw his phone, this was infront of him with his permission. i read the meassage that he had sent her and it said, "hiya, hows ur boobs? xxx" this is the reason that im so puzzled, what does this imply?
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female
reader, juliagulia  +, writes (15 March 2006):
 No, I don't think you have a right to be hurt that he was seeing someone else when you were doing the same thing. As far as the text goes, I don't really know what to make of that. I still talk to lots of people I used to date and it doesn't mean anything to me -- they are just friends and nothing more. My boyfriend knows this and he is ok with it. If it bothers you, then all you can do is talk about it. But I wouldn't give him an ultimatum like "stop talking to her or else" because those can blow up in your face. I think you don't really need to overanalyze the text thing too much. It is just a text message, after all. If you think he is still seeing her behind your back, then by all means, get rid of him. But if all you have to worry about is him and some girl texting once in a while, then just blow it off. As far as whether or not you should stay with him, I think you will have to decide that for yourself. It sounds like you want to, but in order to have a long distance relationship, there absolutely HAS to be a huge amount of trust in each other for it to work and it doesn't sound like you trust him enough to not worry about what he is doing when you are apart for many months at a time. But, you love him, so I suspect you will try it out anyway. Sometimes relationships suck! But maybe this one will work out for you in the long run if you try to work out the problems as they arise. Good luck to you!
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