A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 13 and I'm really close with 2 of my friends (Since we're into all the same stuff and can talk about anything with eachother!) but they're MUCH closer to eachother to me.Loads of rumours have been going around school that they are lesbians and are together but I always brushed them off. Eventually I got sick and tired of people picking on my best friends like that so I started telling everyone who mensioned the subject to back off and told them that if they WERE together I'd know about it!But a while ago one of them confessed that they ARE actually together! At first I was sorta... Well, I was REALLY shocked.But then I started to feel really hurt that they had been keeping it from me.Now, Every time I think about it I feel really upset and grossed out. I've got nothing against lesbians (My sister's one) but I STILL haven't got my head around the whole thing!Every time one of them complains that something bad has happened in their relationship, I find myself telling her to end it! I'm not doing it on purpose but it keeps slipping out!Worse yet, Everytime my other friends are talking about them and saying that they really believe they are together or they're complaining about things that have been upsetting them, I ALWAYS open my mouth to spill their secret, Even thought I swore to secrecy.It's eating me up inside and I just wish I could be happy for them! What should I do?
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female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (11 November 2008):
 It's normal that you feel hurt - after all, you were defending them and assumed that you knew everything about them, seeing how close you are. The fact that they told you in the end proves how much you mean to them. It's hard for anyone to come out, especially at a young age, and they are probably scared of repercussions.
I would advise that you talk to them about it. Do they know that everyone is gossiping about them? Tell them what you know and tell them that although you haven't told anyone their secret, it's hard for you.
You will come to terms with it. I don't think that it's the fact that they're in a lesbian relationship that's bothering you, it's the fact that they hid something so important from you. Try to see it from their perspective - you could have rejected them, you could have been horrified, you could have stopped being their friend.
Don't worry and just be honest with them. They are your good friends and you care about them, and they care about you too.
A
male
reader, wickyricky +, writes (11 November 2008):
i cn see where your cumming from it will be hard for you as they didnt tell you what was happening between them yes they shud have told u but maybe they didnt want you geting hurtso they said nothing im sure u fell left out now probley fell you have lost 2 friends well im sure they are still there 4 u .just ask them why they didnt tell you but please dont get in to an argument te last thing you need is losing 2 friends so just have a we chat ..im sure they just didnt want you geting hurt.
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