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36-40,
anonymous
writes: I need help.My boyfriend recently informed me that he has never felt a connection with anyone - including his family.I have been with him for almost five years and I feel terrible that he should feel this way. This lack of connection also includes myself. :(I have shared every detail about myself with him, he knows every ugly truth about me. He refuses to share anything about himself. When he does, it is typically a lie to make himself look "good." He later (months, even years later) confesses and I become angry, but we somehow stay together. I don't know anything about him really. This is depressing. I have been seeing a psychiatrist and have been prescribed anti-depressants as I feel very bad. How can I look to him as my future husband when he feels no connection with me? This relationship is one-sided.I constantly please him, I give him oral sex/ sex whenever he'd like it, make him any food he'd like, play video games with him, etc. I can't even remember the last time he performed oral sex on me. As we do not have vaginal sex, I realllllly want oral sex. If I somehow get him to do it, he stops after about 1-2 minutes and that's it. :( I am very encouraging and don't put him down or anything that should make him reluctant to give me oral sex, do you guys have any advice?I just do what he wants me to do (which I do happily ;)), but I derive little satisfaction. The part I enjoy is the fact that he gets off, but I mean as in like, an orgasm? I never orgasm. :( I am so sad that he doesn't try as hard as I do in that area and in the emotional area.Does he not want me? Is he insecure? Am I doing something wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'll do that the next time he should do that. I hope that he doesn't confess to another life, but I'll be less emotional and just suck it up and tell him I still love him. Instead of getting pissed off and screaming at him and calling him bad names. =/ Ugh
But how do you even begin to accept someone unconditionally if they refuse to even talk to you about anything related to feelings? If they get upset when you bring the topic up? Even if you are calm and start with things like, "I feel" & "I think?" It's so irritating, we don't really talk about anything important.
If there is something important going on, he ignores it, ignores me and that's it. I bring it up, and he tells me to basically shut up.
It feels like I don't even care anymore. =/ It feels like he hasn't cared for a while. =/
Well, about explaining it to you in a woman's terms, here it goes. Women want to feel loved (just like anyone else), we want to feel a deep connection to our partner. At the slightest hint of rejection, especially by the person we are in love with, we break. When he told me he felt no connection, I died inside.
Thank you for your help
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