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male
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*avidO
writes: I have a wonderful wife who is very loving. But I have some problems accepting that she likes to go clubbing now and again till 3 in the morning with a 21 year old gay male friend who has shown some interest in her. She is 40. Am I being over sensitive or should I be concerned?
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reader, becky05 +, writes (25 July 2005):
I dont think that you should be concerned about your wife going out with her gay friend.
If this really bothers you though, why not get to know him better and make sure you and your wife go out regularly alone.
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (24 July 2005):
 Well you say he is gay... have you any reason to believe he is not gay ? Maybe he is just a friend and she feels that he isnt a threat as he is gay and that she can go out clubbing with him safe in the knowledge that he wont try it on with her. This may also make her feel better about going out without you as she knows that there is nothing in it and that she comes home to her loving husband. If you are that concerned you will have to ask her, i think it may be a case of she just feels relaxed around him and because he is gay she can have alot of fun without the threat of him coming on to her. Maybe even suggest going out with them, your wife may like this idea but be careful in case she thinks you are checking on her... just casually mention that you wouldnt mind tagging along once in a while as you feel like your missing out on the fun... hopefully she will see that you are trying to accept that she has a close male friend and would like to also be friends. Stop worrying about it for now as it will eat away at you. It is probably harmless and its probably a way for her to keep her youth... just see ifyou can get to tag along at least once and see how things go... she goes out with the 21 year old as hes younger, and may feel that its not your thing.. just ask her if she would like to go with you just to see how things pan out.
Take care x
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