A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I had a full abdominal hysterectomy including my ovaries removed almost 16 weeks ago. I’m 42. My sister hasn’t contacted me for the past 13 weeksMy sister Jane (she’s 55) is the only one of my 10 older siblings (most of whom are now in their 60’s) whom I told I was going for the OP.I live 100 miles away so I’m not likely to bump into them in the shops.I was in my early 20's when mum died (my dad died when I was 4).Mum and Dad were in their late 40’s and early 50’s when they had me.It would have been nice to have had my older siblings’ emotional support - but they never even bothered to keep contact with me.They live quite close to each other and they fall in and out with each other constantly.They just always seem to have something to complain about.The thing is I would listen to my sister Jane’s problems and ring her up if I thought she was a little down and needed a chat and I always give her good advice when she needs it but I don't feel that she gives much back. I rang her when I came out of hospital and I was the one cheering her up!To be honest the only time she rings me is when there is upsetting news.I kind of feel that maybe I would be better off going it alone without any of my siblings.I have a lovely husband and 2 great kids. She eventually phoned me after 13 weeks to give me bad news. Problem’s as usual.She never mentioned my OP or asked me how I was feeling.She was only concerned with her own situation - and yes I did give her emotional support.But now I’m thinking I can’t live like this any longer because it is so hurtful and depressing to think that someone is only interested in you to off load their problems when it suits them.Any advice please – I just really feel like not bothering with her any more. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pancakes rule +, writes (14 November 2009):
 The thing is that you believe that people should behave in a certain way - your sister should care about you - but they don't, which makes you angry and disappointed. They behave in their own way. And there's nothing you can do about it. The fact that she's your sister is just that. That you feel she should behave in a sisterly way is your belief. Are you better off without her? Only you can answer that. She has, and will continue to, behave in her own way and there's nothing you can do about it. You can either accept that, or you can cut her out of your life, or you can keep hoping and keep being disappointed.good luckxx
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