A
female
age
26-29,
*dvice helps
writes:Any ideas on how to make friends ? Im really shy and after hi I don't know what to say and I really wanna change that I miss having friends. Help me please any ideas ??
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 June 2012):
Hi there. You are probably still going to school I guess, so there are lots of girls your own age there every single day, so lots of opportunities to make some friends.
If you see a girl who looks like she is a friendly type and is sitting by herself during lunch, why not just walk over to her and say "Hi! My name is ..." And just start talking about whatever is happening in the playground at the time. You could ask her how her day has been so far.
Then you could start asking her about what she likes doing (music, movies, books, hobbies etc.), and see if you can find some common interests.
And if you can't bring yourself to actually start talking to her (whoever you choose to sit next to), you could just walk over to her and just sit down and start eating your lunch.
It's amazing how much easier it is to start talking to someone when you are already busy doing something - such as eating your lunch.
So you are already relaxing and in your own free time. So there's no pressure.
Or maybe in class, if you see someone you would like to talk to, you can begin with a warm friendly smile. You might even get chatting during the class at some point.
The main thing is to simply relax and be yourself, and don't try too hard to get people's attention.
The other thing is to make yourself approachable. Have a friendly expression on your face, and smile easily to people to show that you are a nice person who they could comfortably approach, to talk to.
Sometimes when we are anxious, we have a look on our face which can put people off wanting to walk up to us, so be aware of your facial expressions.
Even if you stand in front of the mirror at home and feel the feelings you get whenever you worry about wanting to make friends, and while you have that feeling, take a look at yourself in the mirror and observe what you see.
Body language and facial expressions can say a lot about people.
Just as an interesting exercise, as you go about your business every day at school and when you are out shopping, notice the expressions on people's faces and see what you read there.
Some people have expressions that are bright and cheery and make you feel welcome, and as if you could say hello to them very easily.
And yet others, could have a very serious look that you definitely wouldn't want to approach them at all!
When you are out and about and you do this, you will understand exactly what I mean.
It's like vibes that people give off. Some seem very friendly and others kind of standoffish and you wouldn't want to walk up to them at all.
And these expressions come from what they are thinking about at the time.
Anxiety will come across to others as perhaps being aggressive and unfriendly.
So if you become aware of your facial expressions, it will encourage others to approach you very easily.
When you are feeling calm and at ease, it will always show on your face, and it will help you to appear friendly and very approachable as well.
I promise you it will make a difference.
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