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female
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*oanna44
writes: Man's advice!I finaly ended it with my on /off boyfriend because he keeps going hot and cold on me and his reason for this was because he hasn't got time for a girlfriend. He said I'd be a great girlfriend but hasn't got time for me. Why? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (22 May 2006):
 My dear I think what your boyfriend is simply saying is that you are a lovely and decent person and ots not cos you are some horrible so and so why he doesnt want to be with you but because he is to busy then he doesnt want to commit to a relationship because that ultimately would be unfair on you. Listen my friend would you rather be with a guy who rarely calls you, can pencil you in for about 7.5 minutes per day etc etc? Of course not. Face it my dear, the two of you right now are not meant to be. All the best. xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2006): I believe and I repeat what you just said, "He said I'd be a great girlfriend but hasn't got time for me" So which part of that don't you understand?
I mean, that's like my boss saying this to me, "Li, you're a great designer, but the company just can't afford you."
Okay, I guess some compassion should be dished. [ahem] He said two different things that relate to each other in terms of the subject of 'time'. I will assume that he is busy with organizing his own life - career, school, self-finding, higher-knowledge, etc. By having a intimate companion in his life, it would be fantastic. However, it takes up a LOT of time, energy, and money. MY GOSH! I sympathize for those guys who are so damn caring and considerate.
Anyway, it is also possible that you're interferring with his concentration. He may have goals he wishes to meet, and you're in the way.
[ponders] Yes.
Okay, now the second thing: "you're a great girlfriend" - yes, you probably are, but like I said above, you may be more of an obstacle in his goals right now. [ponders] Yes, I see now. That makes sense. I should have done that.
Oops, trailed thoughts.
Of course, there are other possibilities, but we won't go there, lest you fester negative thoughts, bunch them up, and explode some generic questions on DC like the other billion or so exactly the same 'problem's. 8]
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