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Meeting up with my boyfriend's ex

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

dear cupid,

my boyfriends ex wants to meet up with us both. she was an absolute cow to him and cheated on him which lead to their break up. its been over two years since that happened and she's asked that her and her boyfriend and a few friends meet up. ive never met her and i have very strong feelings of dislike towards her because of what she did to my boyfriend but at the same time im quite grateful because i wouldnt have met him otherwise.

i need advice on whether to go or not. on one hand i feel as though meeting her will make me angry and upset but on the other hand i want to go and prove that my boyfriend has someone who is more than she will ever be.

help!

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2010):

Sweet-thing agony auntDon't go. I smell a trap and somehow mixing it up wth his ex and her so-called boyfriend just sounds like a disaster n the making. Find a reason to cancel and don't give it any more thought.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (13 August 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntIf it's with a group of friends it's probably going to be ok but personally I'm not a fan of trying to be friends with ex's. I don't think it works. I wouldn't be keen to have this little meeting either.

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A female reader, Beccaa United Kingdom +, writes (13 August 2010):

Beccaa agony auntDear To whoever this may concern,

firstly, clear it with your boyfriend that this situation has both the good and bad sides to it.

as this is your first time meeting your boyfriend's Ex girlfriend, it wil seem a little complicated at first. but to be honest i think everyone feels that way.

even though you have very strong feeligns of dislike to her for what she done to your boyfriend in the past, it's the past now.

proving to your boyfriend that you are someone who is more than she ever will be is not a good idea. to your boyfriend you are everything to him, and any other girl doesnt matter to him in his eyes.

in my opinion i think you should just clear the air with her and sort things out because it is not good disliking people.

please get back to me and tell me how the situation has gone.

many regards,

Beccaa

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010):

If your relationship is stable and happy, why do you have to go and prove it to HER? Isn't that rather childish?

The best revenge for a cheating ex is to move on with your life and be happy and find love, which sounds like what your boyfriend has done. If you go you may get mad, like you said, so why go? You don't like her, so why go? You wanting to prove something to her is making you stoop to a lower level.

Don't go, you and your boyfriend make other plans.

Pettiness and cattiness don't bring good karma.

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