A
female
age
36-40,
*issusx
writes:I have been with my husband since I was 17 Im 25 now he is 29 now. He is an alcoholic/recovering alcoholic and he has doen some and said some horrible things in the PAST and thats my problem. I cant seem to forget about the past. He also seems to go through phases (mean not mean, mean not mean) they are getting more and more mild. Right now he is being nice and I am thinking about divorcing him, I just think our relationship is too damaged. My question is am I crazy for feeling guilty about leaving him? Part me wonders if he deserves it or not. Like Im just being spiteful, I have been a stay at home mom/house wife the whole time, maybe I owe him for taking care of me? I dont know, whats wrong with me. I know I should leave for my own mental health, that and I dont want our daughter to grow up thinking the way daddy treats momm is ok, or thats its ok to date/marry and alcoholic, who is always on probation for his drinking. Whats wrong with me?
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (8 August 2009):
 There's nothing wrong with you. I think it would be good for you to go out and get some help and support. Have you tried going to Al-Anon and getting some counseling for yourself? I think both of those will help you find the answers you are looking for, and help you make the hard decisions to make your life better.
Personally, I do believe the past can damage love. Women often fall out of love a little bit at a time; one day you wake up and the love you had has all been used up and abused. It's often then that the man wants to start treating you right but the relationship is usually too damaged to continue.
Good luck.
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