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female
,
anonymous
writes: Ive been married for 23 years and now my husband wants to have sex with me and another girl he says he would like to watch us suck each others pussy and then have sex with each as the other helps should I or should this be a no no
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): This should be a no-no for one very important reason. I don't know where you stand on your own personal marriage values, but the the fact that you wrote in here and asked for opinion, makes me wonder if you are experiencing doubts and uncertainties. The other aunts asked you a very important question...do you want to do this? Threesomes are not for everyone and you wouldn't be 'out of line' here to say no to this. Can you keep feelings of insecurity and jealousy out of this? If you think you can't then you aren't alone in this. Many long term married men/women, would never fathom such a thing in the sanctity of their marriage because they understand the importance of committment, family bonds and boundries. Threesomes can be painfully destructive to a good marriage.
But I am questioning the true happiness in your marriage. Especially if hubby is asking for some 'fun on the side'. Sometimes people marry other people who can get complacent, lazy and forget to respect and honor their marriage. (is this your husband, perhaps?) Sometimes we marry people who are emotionally immature, who want only their needs fulfilled with no thought to the consequences. People, who are egocentric and selfish who have no self-control. Self-control as opposed to selfishness requires effort and sacrifice..two main components of marriage. Sacrifice/ efforts means always making time for each other, a high priority. So, if you don't want this, tell him. Don't pretend just to appease his ego because in this case, you would be giving up so much of your own values and beliefs, just to please a bored, selfish husband. Please remember, his want to getting his sexual needs met (no responsibilities, no obligations, just fantasy) has been proven, to destroy an alarming number of homes and marriages. So think this through, carefully.
If on the other hand, you want this yourself. Go for it and the best of luck. Just remember, watching your husband 'boink' another women will burn a lasting vision in your mind forever. If you think you can watch that and then forget it...then I give you credit. Not all of us are able to live with a memory like that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): Imagine how you would feel if you saw your husband screwing this girl with the same passionate look he gives you. Do you feel something in the pit of your stomach that resembles rage or do you feel excited and curious? Go with your gut instinct. -J
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 ABSOLUTELY NO, THATS DISPICABLE. Please dont disrespcet yourself by doing this my friend, you have been married for over 2 decades thats a blessing, dont ruin it now. xXx
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A
female
reader, DEBS83 +, writes (16 August 2006):
 is this just u husbands fantasy or is there something deeper in his mind best thing to do is ask him straight out why he wants to do it and if he give u a good reason then if u feel comfatable with this then do it. But if u are not ok with the idea then tell him if he loves u then he should be ok with it .
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 Do you want to do this? If you don't, then really really don't do it.
For some people it can be fine. But for many others, it can cause a chain reaction of jealousy that can be really damaging. Only do it if you know your connection to your husband is strong enough to deal with some of the complex emotions that can result.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): thats completley up to whether or not you think you can handle your husband paying attention to another girl while you're all in bed. im assuming he'll want to at least touch her...do you think you can handle that emotionally? if so and this wont cause a problem for you (think about it litterally first, dont jump to a conclusion) then go for it and have fun! if you have ANY hesitation at all in your gut, dont do it...you know yourself to know if you'll regret it later. i hope this helped!
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