A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I became romantically involved with a friend I've known for close to 20 years at a time when we were both available and really lonely.We had a ton of fun, shared a very close emotional and physical bond, but since I wanted a boyfriend and he didn't want to be that,we parted. Done. He started dating someone instantly after we broke up, so now he's someone's boyfriend and I'm alone. I get it, I get it, he had no desire for me and he's moved on.Here's the rub. A musician we both follow was playing in town (we share a lot of the same musical tastes) so I knew there was a good chance if he didn't have the kids that night he would be there with the new gf. In an attempt to minimize awkwardness, I emailed him a heads up that I was planning to attend. He wrote and said he and his new gf were going, so I said if I saw them I would say hello.At the club between sets, introductions were made, we all survived, and I headed back to my area for the 2nd set. Everything's fine, I'm remembering to breathe, and I'm even starting to enjoy myself. By myself. But halfway through the set he and the gf changed their location and were now standing next to me. Ugh. I acknowledge them but show no love. Then, while standing right next to me, he starts making out with his girlfriend. Not classy, and downright hurtful considering I was desperate for him to show me a little love in public when we were together. So I ask you, why would anyone do that?? This makes no sense to me. I'm trying to move on, and hey, make out with your girlfriend all you want, just not *right next* to me. The rodent.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013): Sounds like he was deliberately trying to hurt your feelings. The jerk. Or maybe he has really low self esteem and it gives him an ego boost to know that he has power over your feelings and can mess with you whenever he wants. Either way he is a jerk. He isn't much of a friend either despite having known him for 20 years.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 February 2013):
 I think anyone making out in public is rude and gross.... I don't want to see it at all.
your correct it's not mature nor is it classy or anything else other than gross....
BUT the problem is that you were not ROMANTICALLY involved with a friend. You were SEXUALLY involved with a friend. YOU were FRIENDS with BENEFITS… nothing more nothing less….
You had fun… YOU WANTED MORE FROM HIM and he did not view you that way…
And that HURTS… and the fact that he instantly moved on… you are hurt and angry that he didn’t even pause to mourn the passing of your set up….. OUCHIES
I think your first mistake was emailing him that you would be there… BFD… you guys are (or WERE) friends… the only awkward feeling one was YOU… because you can say you understand he moved on and your ok with it but YOU’RE NOT OK… and you felt odd….
YOU wanted him to treat you like a girlfriend and he didn’t… your jealous… and that’s OK and normal… he was classless but I DO NOT THINK HE DID IT TO UPSET YOU…
He was not making a statement to you…do not try to interpret what he did based on how YOU feel about him….. that will never work.
Remember that living well is the best revenge… worrying about WHY someone did something is a waste of energy…
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): Ugh. He purposely moved closer to you and made out with her to hurt you and rub it in your face. What a dog.
I'd cut all contact after that public display...give him no more heads up.
Move away from him and ignore him if he tries that stunt again in the future.
Hopefully, you will find a decent "mature" man that will treat you with respect and then you two can go to concerts together. Maybe this man will run into you two and he will back off from such childish behaviors.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (15 February 2013):
 He is a bastard! Any man who can't respect other people's feelings whether they cared about them or not is not worth it. If I were you I'd avoid places you think he might be at for a while. It's a lot easier to get over someone if you don't see them
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 February 2013):
 I might agree to some degree about the PDA at a concert, perhaps it is a bit "unclassy " in general. This is not a couple of teens at a OneDirection concert, and in general adults at a concert should focus their attention on the performance and not distract the audience with showy PDAs.
But, as far as you are concerned, .. I guess it did not even enter his mind if his PDA could, should , or would affect you. You weren't even together, it was a little transient " something " as there are probably dozens in the life of every adult male . He maybe does not even suspect that you could be still upset or wistful, and, since you aren't even an ex wife, ex gf, ex something, is even highly debatable if he should care.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 February 2013):
Hi there. It was very inconsiderate of him, to not think about how you might feel if he did that.
He clearly gave it no thought whatsoever, did he?
It sounds like this could happen again in future, both going to the same venue to see some muso you both enjoy, so just don't stand next to him.
Or rather, if you find he moves closer to the stage where the musician is playing, and it happens to be right beside you - again - well then move away from him, so you have at least 6 people in between you and him.
I guess there is another possibility also.
And that is, that maybe he purposely stood beside you and kissed his new girlfriend, just to make you feel jealous.
Or to see if you DID get jealous, in order to check what your feelings are for him.
Some people do that, if they are not sure.
It's a thought at least.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): He is being a real A$$ so dot let him get under your skin. He probably expected you act jeolous and teh fact you were indifferent was a bruise to his ego.
He is not worth even keeping as friend as he should show some respect to you. Yo are better off without him.
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