A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya everyone,I'm in a long distance relationship with this bloke. We've been together for over a year (long distance) and I love him very much.The distance is very hard to deal with, of course. I get down and sad because I miss him so much, but I'm always able to pull myself up and look on the bright side: we're together, we love eachother, and the distance won't be there forever.He's a bit different. He gets very, VERY down about being apart. Happy conversations will suddenly turn into sad little mopey ones about missing me so much. He'll get into sad, depressive moods that last for days - sometimes a week or so - and he says the main cause is just being away from me.As of right now, I'm literally TWO DAYS AWAY from seeing him again (hurrah!) but all he can focus on is the fact that I'm not already there. It feels like he focuses more on missing me than anything else. Truth is, we're apart more than we're together. That's just the way our relationship has to be right now.I love him and it hurts me so much to be away from him, but I feel like we need to be optimistic and look forward to the time we have together, not the time we have apart.When he gets into his moods it really brings me down too and I wonder if we can survive, or if he can cope being away from me.What do I do? I'm at a loss!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): I have empathy with you; long distance relationships are not easy; I suggest you discuss these concerns and feelings with your boyfriend when you are with him next; he must understand that it is also difficult for you and that he is not making it any easier for you;
I also suggest that you both have to discuss the future and the future of your relationship; set goals and plan ahead; you need to have a future plan to survive; you will not be able to continue like this for indefinit.
Thus, "take stock" of the situation and discuss it when you are toghether; yes, I know, I understand that then you want to just enjoy each other and not get into details and discuss things that might cause unhappiness or have the risk of an argument BUT I URGE you; have a good heart to heart and discuss the future of the relationship;
Enjoy the time with him and do have the TALK; it will give you a perspective on your relationship and you will have more clarity if your relationship will survive the test of time and distance;
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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