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anonymous
writes: I have lied to my fiancee about my age. We have been dating for about a year and she still thinks I am older than I really am. I need to get this off my chest but I am not sure how to tell her.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (7 January 2005):
 Let's hope that you didn't tell her that you're 45 when you're only 13.You don't say how old you are, or how old you told her you are, but unless if affects your legal ability to get married, it should be a non-issue. She's your fiancee, right? She loves you? Wants to marry you and be together for life? Have kids, get old together? Then she's not going to sweat a little fib about your age.Unless... If it's part of a greater web of lies that you've told her over the last year, then you'd better own up, now. If that's the case, I'd be postponing any wedding plans because Truthfulness is a major marriage issue and can be a deal-breaker. If you've been telling a lot of whoppers, then you may not be ready yet for marriage. Assuming that this is a one off, a white lie that you told her to, say, make a good impression, then just tell her so. It doesn't have to cause a commotion. Say something like, "You know, when we first met, I wanted so badly for you to like me that I would have said anything to get your attention. For a long time, it's been bothering me that I told you then that I was older than I actually am." Then go on to explain the details and that you never intended the fib to go on this long. Reassure your fiancee that you would never lie about something that counts and make sure you never do.But don't wait. Do it now and unburden yourself.
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